Clifton, NJ—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Pro Shop, has startled the archeological community again with his excavation of a giant statue of The Daily Discord’s columnist, the Ghetto Shaman. Dr. Hogbein has spent much of his career seeking an ancient race situated between the Hackensack and the Passaic River in a land known as Middle-Jersey.
Dr. Hogbein believes this civilization existed in Jersey an astounding forty-thousand years ago. He also believes the Ghetto Shaman receives nightly transmissions from the Toltec gods and may well be an avatar, returning again and again when the world is in most need of public drunkenness.
“We weren’t sure this was actually the same Shaman until we reached the Basal Paleolithic level (c. 39,000 B.C.),” said Dr. Hogbein. “There we discovered a necklace comprised of partially consumed chicken wings, possibly of the early Domino’s or Papa John’s variety. We became certain at the pre-Specialty Brew level, where numerous empty cans of malt liquor products were found.”
The Ghetto Shaman has responded to the professor’s theories thusly, “The only nightly transmission I receive involves a professional woman named Isis.”