Newport, KY—The GOP is still reeling from the House Majority leader’s recent condemnation of his party’s own think tanks. Republican frontrunner, Rand Paul, is now in damage control. With The GOP fast becoming the anti-intellectual party, Paul felt the need to round an important metaphorical corner. So his campaign resolved to tour with the chair that appeared next to Clint Eastwood during the 2008 Republican Primaries.

Rand Paul claims the decision to tour with the inanimate object was a “surprisingly easy one”. Paul told reporters today, “What was everyone talking about after those primaries? That chair. More than anything else, folks were talking about that chair. That chair crossed political lines and captured the hearts and minds of America. More than science, more than math, more than data, we need a symbol in this country, and I believe that chair could be our next Liberty Bell, only in chair form.”