“This is more evidence of the War on Easter,” said Obama.  “We should not be limited to worshipping anthropomorphic egg-bearing rabbits on only one day each year. Let’s not forget the true meaning of Easter, which, again, involves this rabbitoid thing and the distribution of decorated hardboiled chicken eggs.”

The First Lady added, “What Barack is trying to say is, it doesn’t in any way have to do with amnesty for all illegals and then lowering the voting age so Democrats can win more elections.”

The President made a dismissive gesture toward his wife, before saying, “Now, if you will excuse us, we need to make sure the kids aren’t trying to release the flying monkeys again.”

On their way inside, the same reporter asked why all the children appeared to be totting milk shakes and large sacks of candy, Michelle said, “Uh, yeah, there’s a War on Halloween too. Besides, we had to do something with all the booty in those school candy machines that I confiscated.”