Apes, Shamans, and Atsals on Health Care

Dave Atsals

The Crank and the Mick have both missed the point on the topic of health care.  Therefore, I need to put in my three cents.  My three cents includes something they tend to overlook, common sense (or dollars).  I may be jumping the gun a little bit about Crank and Mick’s articles and opinions, but I doubt it.  Truth be told, I read only the titles of their posts, that seems to be more than enough for me this week.  My guess is the Crank is of the opinion that any form of public health care will ruin the country outright, and Mick feels nothing will ever work because George W. Bush was once our president.  Mick probably related this to the ever-growing national level of consciousness and seven different political talk show hosts so obscure it would take a PhD in C-span 2 to decipher.  The Crank probably related it to a funny colored big ape, perhaps the same one they were testing The Ghetto Shaman’s latest “cures” on.  He probably attacked Mick’s position in the form of very colorfully worded outbursts of CAPITALIZED SENTENCES!!! 

The fact is the ape, the shaman, and I have reached the same conclusion.  Something needs to change.  Keeping the government completely out of everything is not the answer.  It has been tried before and the results are breaking down as we speak.  Complete government control is never the answer either, that is why many of our ancestors came to this country in the first place (or was it for hookers?).  I know personally over a tenth of my earnings goes for my family’s health insurance.  This does not include any additional expenses, such as co-pays, or actual procedures.  I also know the current system makes no sense to me or the ape (see my past article $28.00).  I have looked into some other options for insurance in Pennsyltaxme.  I can insure my kids on the cheap, through something called CHIPS.  The problem is they have to be un-insured for six months before they’re eligible.  Yes, you heard right.  Let’s drop insurance on the children for six months, keep my fingers crossed that nothing happens, and then the Calvary arrives…or the coroner.  THIS IS NOT COMMON SENSE!!  (Hey, the Crank’s onto something. That felt good.  As good as a hooker,  WELL ALMOST!).

My pet peeve involves my pets.  They get better health care from the vets than I do from my doctor.  My pets get little cards in the mail letting them know it’s time for their appointments, and what shots and services are going to be needed next.  If X-rays are needed they are performed on site.  If small surgeries are needed they can be done swiftly and conveniently.  Blood work is run on site, with results within twenty-four hours.  Someone even brings them their dog gone tick medicine right to the damn door.  I wish I had heart worm. 

Me, on the other hand, I never know when an appointment is needed at my Doctors; it takes me six months to see the doctor after a routine physical is scheduled.  I am normally seen by only a nurse practitioner anyway, who tells me the doctor is a swell guy.  When I finally see my doctor all he does is type on his laptop and ignore me while I turn my head and cough.   If blood work is needed, so is another appointment at a local hospital. If X-rays are needed, so is another appointment at a different hospital.  And they don’t even clip my nails; they have to send you to a specialist for that.   I think I am getting heart worm.

Common sense requires me to do a little research stating the pro’s and con’s of Obamacare.  Maybe even propose a solution or two, something Zano never does. 


  • The United States is the only industrialized nation without coverage for its entire population.  Granted, some of our people may not deserve it, but we should be a nation that should lead not follow.
  • The number of un-insured in the country continues to rise.
  • Canada’s much maligned health care system costs only a 10th of their GNP, currently ours costs are almost a 15th.  Theirs covers almost everyone.  Their life expectancy is higher, and their infant mortality lower.
  • We are currently ranked 19th in the world.  That’s too damn low.

It makes sense to me why people go on welfare, they get free insurance.  If all American’s were insured it would be a reason for people to move from welfare to lower paying jobs saving the country a ton of money.           


  • There is nothing in the Constitution guaranteeing health care.  Next they will want the government to provide everyone cars, boats, and flush toilets.
  • It is just another way to take from the well-off and distribute to the terminally-lazy.
  • Why should we pay medical expenses for the obese, alcoholic, drug addicted, and smokers of the world?  I’m talking to you Ghetto Shaman.  Oh, that’s right, the cocaine is helping your weight problem, isn’t it?   My bad.


  • The sickest already receive hospital care and are unable to ever pay, raising all of our insurance and medical expenses.
  • Huge companies make billions of the current system using this money to pay overpaid CEO’s and lobby officials to keep the current system in place and their standard of living the same.
  • National health care replaces insurance premiums with taxes.  In most cases the taxes will be lower than what people are already spending on health care.
  • Over 25 cents of every health care dollar is wasted on paperwork, advertizing, and other things patients don’t need (like referrals to quack psychiatrists “ZANO….ZANO…”).  The other 75 cents usually falls behind the couch.

Yes, common sense math is simple: 4 pros to 3 cons.  It is time for change and some sort of publicly funded health care.  After all, are we all not part of the public, and paying for health care?  This means the entire public is already paying, except those without, which is entirely un-acceptable. 

Health insurance is basically a slush fund where everyone pays into the same bin, even though not everyone is going to need the same.  Therefore, it protects us all from financial disasters if there is a medical necessity.  Having this funded and administered by private insurance companies only makes prices go up, because they need ever-increasing profits.  Take profits out and lower the prices.  Maybe we can do the same with auto insurance, etc.  I wonder how much payments each month goes to un-deserved bonuses.  Do I believe in capitalism?  Sure. The better educated you are effects the better role one should have in society, therefore the better compensation you should receive for that role.   This is why I am studying up to pass my high school equivalency.

SOLUTION:  let the government tax you fairly for healthcare and you chose what form of health care, and where you will go to get it.  If different levels of health care need set up, then so be it.  I do not want to hear that it’s unfair; it is a “YOU” problem.  Work harder, move into a higher income bracket.  After all we all have different levels of health care now based upon what insurance we have, or don’t have.  I know we are all sick of taxes, but some of them actually are used for things, like plowing our roads when it snows, providing education to our young, and protecting our Borders (but not our Starbucks) from foreign invasion.  All of which are useless if you’re dead.

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