Cairo, EG—From the beginning, the Ghetto Shaman World Tour (GSWT) was plagued with problems. The recent upheaval in Egypt was the last camel straw. Following citizen uprisings in Tunisia, Algeria, and Yemen, civil unrest in Jordan and the Kurdish section of Syria, and now Egypt, Daily Discord CEO, Pierce Winslow said “enough is enough.”
“It’s no coincidence all this political unrest spawned within days of each of the Ghetto Shaman’s tour stops,” said Winslow. “I’m all for stirring the pot, but I don’t want the Discord’s GSWT to become the Franz Ferdinand of World War III. Besides, I told the bastard not to do the Egg a Radical Muslim Cleric Day bit. Moron.”
While not confirmed, reports suggest Winslow received a threatening phone call from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. It’s also been reported “Mossad” was mentioned several times during the call.
Homeland Security states it will not lower the current threat level until the Shaman is safely back in his sweat lodge.