North Pole—The White House is downplaying the possibility the notorious weather sprite, the Snow Miser, might be employed to help prevent three or more nuclear meltdowns in Japan. The little remaining water is no longer keeping the nuclear rods in the cores contained at this time, so Obama believes a being with super cooling abilities could stave off a complete and utter disaster.
Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, embarked to the Snow Miser’s ice castle yesterday to formally request aid from the Christmas marionette and Clause antagonist.
“We came at it from the angle, my enemy’s enemy is my friend’s…er, we won’t get fooled again!” exclaimed Clinton, who went on to explain how several meltdowns would embolden the Snow Miser’s brother and arch nemesis, the Heat Miser. “If any meltdown would occur, the Heat Miser could reclaim some of the winter months in areas of northern Japan for tens of thousands of years,” explained Clinton.
The Obama Administration remains uncertain as to whether or not the Snow Miser took the bait and neither Clinton nor her entourage have been seen or heard from since. Obama remains unconcerned at this time.
“I happen to know Hillary and the Snow Miser intimately, and I would be more concerned about the Miser.”
Obama denies that, should Clinton fail, he plans to send Joe Biden to enlist the aid of Mr. Freeze of Batman fame. Although Obama admits the prospect of permanently freezing Biden’s mouth shut has a certain appeal.