Many Spend the 4th Reminiscing with Fox News:  Harkening Back to a Time of Rampant Patriotism and ‘We’re # 1’ Absurdities

Many Spend the 4th Reminiscing with Fox News:  Harkening Back to a Time of Rampant Patriotism and ‘We’re # 1’ Absurdities

Remember a time when the U.S. wasn’t ranked 21st in literacy rates or gazillionth in manufacturing?  When we had the biggest empire in the world, and the tallest Empire State Building to prove it?  Well, you don’t have to!  It’s still reality for many of our ‘special’ citizens who watch Fox News as their main source of propaganda.  Why should you ever have to face the real problems of our time, when you can be programmed to ignore them?  And don’t worry, the depression will all be Obama’s fault.  Thankfully, you’ll never make that pesky connection that voting in our 39th ranked president, twice, for the eight-years prior to our demise had any correlation whatsoever.

Greg Sully of Lincoln, NE, said, “Fox news is like the History Channel and the SyFy Channel, all rolled into one.”

Mr. Sully enjoys the fear and suspense when a Democrat is in office and then the fictional security and prosperous period enjoyed when a Republican takes back command.

“And the Cylons are great too,” added Sully.

There was never anything wrong with the most expensive healthcare on the globe covering increasingly fewer and fewer people.  And, as for the environment…heck, over 90% of the environment lies outside of U.S. borders, right?  Makes you think, doesn’t it?  You shouldn’t do that.  And freedom’s just another word for—I don’t know another word for freedom (I watch Fox News).  There is no substitute for freedom in the Fox lands…or Thesauruses, apparently.

Nationalism isn’t a bad thing, just the way you do it is.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.