13 search results for "amygdala"

Republicans Can Have High IQs Too, WTF?

by Mick Zano • February 13, 2015

As you might have noticed I enjoy picking on Republicans. I’ve remained keenly aware how their ideology is not just a matter of ignorance, nor simply some mixture of cognitive distortions and propaganda. There are many ingredients in this ideological shit-soup. GOPzpacho? Bumpkin bisque? No soup jokes for you! Sorry to rain on this parody, but I want to discuss their suspiciously high IQs. Yep, you heard right…wing.

To me it seems counterintuitive, but not everyone who pulls the lever rightward just fell off the turnip cart. Some were pushed! One study suggests Tea Peeps are generally brighter than the general population. What General? …Scheisskopf? And this Yale article suggests Tea Peeps are even more scientifically literate than most. Yale gave George W. Bush a degree, but let’s not hold that against them.
So then I have to ask this: how did clever people create a movement that would jump a grade level with the addition of scratch‘n’sniff?

Don’t get to excited as somehow these smart Republicans still manage to be the least insightful. This PEW Report shows how the more educated the elephant the more skeptical of climate change.

“The fact is politically sophisticated or knowledgeable people are often more biased, and less persuadable, than the ignorant. It’s a reality that generates endless frustration for many scientists—and indeed, for many well-educated, reasonable people.”

—Chris Mooney

Keep in mind our most highly educated folks still tend to vote Dem, here, but what can we make from this group of outliars? Pardon the pun. In my personal life, most of our brainy Republicans either have strong ties to: 1. the military, 2. the Tea People, 3. or strong stock portfolios. Winning!

Let’s dissect all three groups. No, really, I have a biology dissection kit and some formaldehyde.

I: The Military Primarily Votes Republican

Most military types believe Dems are soft on terror and incapable of defending our country, but where does that myth originate?

Hint of the Day:

“Benghazi is the real 9/11 and it happened on Obama’s watch!”

—Sean Insanity

“If Benghazi is the real 9/11 than The Rutles started the British Invasion.”

—Mick Zano

One article suggests the marriage between the armed forces and The GOP occurs primarily because military recruiting tends to be heaviest in those square states, here. Knowing some military types, family included, I feel at least anecdotally that there’s still a fondness for Bush and a suspicion—if not an all-out hatred—of Obama. So I have to ask, how does a President who lied us into war and then lost said war end up more popular than a fairly savvy and cautious president?

I don’t know.

I think a bigger reason our military folks vote R is job security. There’s always a fear Dems will cut defense spending and, as Bill Maher always points out, our military is often a jobs program. The other part of this equation lies in the realm of semantics. Anything not deemed decisive is equated, by Republicans, to weakness. Obama’s long game doesn’t have the flare of Bush’s Shock & Awe, nor the consequences. I’m afraid with our current president we’re stuck with results that take far too long for your average Republican to fathom. Heck, I’m not even sure what Obama’s long game is exactly, but I’ll take his perseverating any day. Operation: Enduring Procrastination?

But as the younger generation shifts D, so too will go the military.

II: The Tea People Primarily Vote Republican

I see the Tea Party as those fiscally-responsible constitution-minded folks who seem to have mastered neither. They voted for George W. Bush twice (Dr. Deficit) and Dick Cheney (Mr. Secret police, torture, NSA and breaking Habeas Corpus). That makes sense. Whatever the hell you think you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong.

Primarily the Tea Party formed as a direct result of Bush’s cavalier stupidity and then immediately sided with Republicans sometime amidst Obama’s inauguration. But if you google debt by president a clear pattern emerges. Each graph—with the exception of the one submitted in crayon by Michele Bachmann—tells a similar tale. She did stay in the lines this time so her meds must finally be working. But deficits tend to explode under Republicans and then there’s this crazed attempt by democrats to restore the fiscal order. The worst debt explosion that occurred under a Dem was the first few years of Obama’s tenor. After Obama finally fixed our percent of deficit to GDP, Republicans shifted their focus to real dollar debt, but then:

*Graphs courtesy of Paul Waldman.

So what happens now that both are on the mend? I know the answer! They just make shit up. Lest we forget, Obama successfully avoided economic Armageddon—a fact history will note, even if Republicans won’t. If you don’t believe Obama’s spike was a function of Bush’s gross mishandling of EVERYTHING, you might be a Republican.

So how do Republicans get nearly all of the fiscal conservative credit? Again, this is part of The GOP mystique, the part Jon Stewart affectionately terms Bullshit Mountain.

Summary Alert:

III: The Wealthy Primarily Vote Republican

Let’s take the one percent out of this equation for a minute. They certainly benefit from the gutting of EPA and FDA regulations as well as decisions like Citizens United, so I get why Mr. Burns votes GOP. Why Republicans get more than one percent of the vote is the question. Let’s focus on those high IQ folks with some wealth. Case in point, here’s a conversation with a friend of mine who falls in that category (circa the 2004 election):

Zano: Why in God’s name are you voting for Bush again?

Eric: I made a lot of money off of Bush.

Zano: This is not going to end well, dude, for any of us.

I emailed him this exchange for comment and he graciously updated his delusions:

Eric: I made even more money off of Obama! I can’t say so much for the folks that were forced to pay for ObamaCare and the middle class that will be paying for his failed programs for decades. Fortunately for Obama, low gas prices may just bail out his otherwise failed presidency.

*Retraction: I called Eric “smart” in that first part

I think history will agree with my friend on his name, Eric, beyond that not so much. So he made more money under Obama? He made more money while Obama insured more people, minus that whole pesky global-collapse-thingie? Most Republicans remain wholly unaware how close to true disaster they brought us. They also seem oblivious to this new normal, a state we will remain in until the bitter end. But they don’t give Obama any credit for averting disaster because “his meddling just delayed the recovery.” Of course there’s no evidence of this (See: other countries on Earth post Bush). Actually Forbes just admitted Obama has outperformed Reagan on all of the most commonly watched economic indicators, here.

So high IQ Republicans showed zero insight in 2004 and somehow managed less than zero in 2015. Strong work.

*Retraction #2: Wait, isn’t your name spelled Erik?

Even more ingredients for this Republican shit-soup:

As discussed many times, Republicans have both a fear of out-groups and an inherent paranoia. Evidence suggests the Republican brain contains a more oversized amygdala, the fear center (check out Mooney’s book: Fear is a Mind Killer). That doesn’t mean they’re a different species, blood flow in the brain is based on utilization and Fox News makes them all very afraid. Fear also decreases activity in the frontal lobes. I’m just thankful to hear there’s still some blood flowing up there at all.

The smarter version of The GOP also seems to suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect. They may hold down a job and play the stocks well, but to them this equates as being master of all things. I’m not a scientist, but I saw a professor on Gilligan’s Island fix a radio once. I will leave my friend out of this one as, besides politics, he does seem master of all things. Politics is your only homework assignment, um… Erik.

Is it soup yet?

No. I’ve already covered many of the cognitive distortions so prevalent on in Republicana, but this is not the whole story. To be this wrong takes a truly hijacked brain:

“The more fossil fuels that we use, the deeper we have to drill in order to access them, and the more exotic the methods (take tar sands, for example). This is a classic symptom of addiction, as addicts typically go to great lengths to keep using despite knowing that their resources are being depleted, and that they are bound to run out and wreak havoc along the way.”

—Sarah Levine

Republican optimism for fossil fuels is certainly a function of addiction, but it’s also a function of the normalcy bias. They believe things will go on as they always have. We get oil from the ground so I can drive my Hummer to the all-you-can-eat steak house. And yet, one way or another, our grandchildren will not lead such lives. They truly believe that their actions have no consequences to the environment, or to terrorism, to the global economy, to the future, etc.

Lest we forget, conservatism starts out logically enough. You all know someone in your life who emphasizes personal and fiscal responsibility. But how does that end in a series of policies, positions, and politicians invariably wrong for the economy, the country, and the planet? Every flippin’ time! I believe the contradictions inherent in The GOP are fixed, profound, and fatal. Hopefully something worthwhile will emerge from the ashes, but I’m not holding my breath. Actually, I am. The EPA is all but gutted in my state.

Mick Zano

Live From the Grand Strip-Mine State

by Mick Zano • March 7, 2013

You are traveling through another political dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of lies, a slanderous land of imagination. Next stop, the TwiRight Zone! Picture this if you Wills…George Wills. Sorry, but Mr. Winslow wants me to start warning readers before they click the read more button. It cuts down on complaints—at least marginally so.

I know, I know, I’m covering the batshit Right again when I could be at the casinos, but we happen to be between ghost investigations right now and Cokie McGrath isn’t returning any of my phone calls…again. The way I see it there are generally four types of misinformation tactics flooding Republican-land:

1.Irrelevant Comparisons

2.False equivalencies

3.Revisionist history

4.Outright lies

This is not to say these tactics are completely absent on the Left, it’s just that EVERYTHING on the Right seems to fall into one of these four categories. Theirs is a land built on false assumptions, of shadow not substance, a land that lies closer to the pit of man’s fears than the summit of his knowledge, a land known as…okay, okay, I’ll stop!

The first tactic employed by the GOP is:

1. The Irrelevant Comparison:

The chart at right is not the one I originally saw on Facebook, I couldn’t find that, but it’s the same idea. It might be accurate, aka those numbers are probably real, but comparing the end of Bush and Obama’s first terms in this manner is truly meaningless. But it does get to the heart of the GOP’s delusion. To them the collapse never happened, to them we’re not heading for continued global economic uncertainty, to them overpopulation is not an issue, to them lowering unemployment is easily correctable (despite our country’s inability to actually make things anymore), to them we can frack our way to energy sustainability, to them climate change isn’t happening, to them a return to a 50s-style American nirvana is just around the corner. Next stop Willoughby! Sorry, if I sneak in any more of these Zone references you can wish me away to the cornfield.

Yes, the future is bleak, but it could be worse….

Instead of the economic collapse of 2009, let’s say there was a zombie apocalypse. So that chart above is essentially saying, “As part of Cheney’s covert Super Soldier Program a mutated virus went awry triggering a zombie outbreak. But when George W. Bush left office only a mere 3% of the population were zombies, but in the subsequent four years under the incompetent leadership of Barack Hussein Obama, 96% of the population of Earth became zombies! That zombie appeasing socialist! In all fairness to the Right, Obama’s campaign slogan A Brain in Every Mouth didn’t help matters (grey matter joke gnawed upon and then omitted).

See how that works? It’s a cooked book! It’s a cooked book! Sorry, it’s a Zone thing. Another related analogy might be comparing the economy of Hiroshima of 1944 to 1945. Very insightful but, umm, you’re kind of forgetting about the atomic Bush, or the whole zombie apocalypse thing. Comparing the surplus W walked into to the clusterfuck Obama inherited is like comparing apples and orangutans (Trump ancestry joke omitted, as there’s still a pending lawsuit). Oh, and if you don’t want liberals to keep mentioning Bush, stop thinking charts like this are meaningful.

Another tactic prevalent on the right is called:

2. False Equivalency & You!

The false equivalency, which I first described years ago as “We’re Even!” goes something like this: if a pattern of truly sinister and irrational rhetoric/actions/plottings occur on the Right, it is immediately cancelled out with one semi-related quote uttered by some Rosie O’Donnell type on the Left. Bill Maher has also identified this tactic.

“There’s a man on the right winger of this plane!”

—William Shatner

Exhibit A:

The game “We’re Even!” was played effectively by the Romney campaign during the War on Women. As the Republicans attempted to respond to many of their own statements on rape, birth control, and pay inequality, they semi-successfully squelched the momentum when an Obama intern said, “Ann Romney never worked a day in her life.” Do you remember that? Well, Obama’s aid had a valid point in the context of the argument, but the Republicans all cried in unison, “We’re Even!”—which means everything they said is absolved. It’s like when you’re playing chess and you’re about to be checkmated so you accidentally kick the table.

So…

One valid but inarticulate statement by Obama’s intern =

All of the Republican Senators, Congressman and Presidential candidate’s statements and beliefs that triggered the War on Women.

Well played Republicans, well played. The Hannitys, Drudges and Limbaughs of the world pull this shit every damn day. One drunk Occupier from Oakland says something and that’s supposed to Trump anything said by…er, bad choice of words. You’re fired! Here’s my favorite recent example of false equivalency:

The chart at right is not mine, but I immediately made this same point as Benghazi was unfolding here. My quote:

“You know what’s a real scandal? When nearly 3,000 Americans died in our own country, while our President kept reading My Pet Goat. That’s a slightly larger intelligence failure, no? But in Bush’s defense that’s a really good book.”

—Mick Zano

I always try to link back to earlier posts, but as for the GOP-types it’s best we forget their statements so they can focus all of their energy on botching the next issue.

We probably couldn’t have prevented the four deaths in the cesspool known as Benghazi, yet somehow that trumps the largest intelligence failure here in America since Pearl Harbor—not to mention the worst reaction to said intelligence failure since Nam. Oh, not to mention our wonderful Republican Congress actually blocked funds for said embassy security. But I can see their point…er, okay not really. Can anyone on the Right even identify an actual problem anymore? Oh yeah, the guy just confirmed as our Defense Secretary (Hint: that’s why they hate him). This whole scenario becomes even more disturbing when you consider approximately 40% of our country thinks Benghazi = Iraq.

Of course, the Foxeteer will respond with, “We’re even! Besides, Iraq was just an intelligence failure!”

Oh, Iraq was an intelligence failure all right, just not the kind you meant, or as I put it nearly a sentence ago:

“Oh, Iraq was an intelligence failure all right, just not the kind you meant.”

—Mick Zano

Sorry, I’ve apparently already abused my hyperlink privileges.

As a psychology type, I wonder how so many people can immediately translate this back into Limbaughnese. Tragic beans? Wait, I got it! Rove-setta Stone!

Translate and understand a truly irrational ideology in just a few easy Hannity episodes! You two can make sense of the senseless with our six-CD set. And, not only is it inaccurate, it’s fun!

False equivalency (exhibit two):

The GOP believes voter intimidation/suppression =

Yes, it equals two yahoos at a voting station in an already heavily favored Obama district being weird and creepy.

VS.

Republican intimidation/suppression =

A coordinated effort by politicians and judges to create systemic changes designed to create widespread voter suppression.

Come on everyone! Say it with me! …We’re Even!

And yet Congress couldn’t even clap during that SOTU story of a 102 year old woman who waited many hours to vote in Florida. I know Obama said no more name calling, buutt…

What a great game. You see? Those are equal…well, for the factually impaired. Similarly the GOP is now trying to essentially gerrymander the entire Electoral College (related article here). Confused? Just replace the word gerrymander with screw. But don’t worry, I’m sure the next statement by Michael Moore on the subject will mean, “We’re Even!” Sadly tuition was too high at the Electoral College for me, but I still frequent the campus bars.

And for #3 one of my favorites:

3. Revisionist History:

I’ve beaten this one to death, but my last post has an example that gets to the heart of it. The Foxeteers think the Bush Administration never happened and they all agree “Obama is the worst President ever!”

Reality Check:

Historians and scholars rank W. almost dead last and Obama is guesstimated by guru Nate Silver as coming in around 17^th (between good and average).

Here’s one of my old articles on Republican revisionism here. When investigated and researched, almost everything the GOP holds as gospel is built on a pile of lies and false assumptions, or as I call it The Vatican. I kid the Pope. Actually, it all started with Lord Reagan and an economic strategy with many years of implementation yet no discernable successes (aka, Trickle Down, aka, Supply Side Economics, aka, Reaganomics, aka, how can you all be against pot and dream up this shit?). Well, it apparently works if you like high deficits.

The last and probably most heavily utilized tactic is (drum roll):

4. Outright Lies:

The Outright Lie is my favorite, but I’m told if I try to list these again I will crash our server. For examples see any non-ghost-related-Zano-article (NGRZA). I believe the NGRZA were the same dragon-like creatures the ringwraiths flew back in Mordor. It must be true, I heard it in a Zeppelin song. I am going to try to limit this category to one recent example to add to my collection:

Okay, Googling…(12 seconds later)…ah, here we are:

The Sequester: If you want to know step-by-step how it’s actually going down, check out Dickerson’s coverage over on Slate. Hint: it will be news to a Foxeteer, but what isn’t, right? Yes, the GOP, as usual, is insistent on being the most wrong on any given topic. And the only thing they’re consistent about is their ability to lie to each and every step of the way. Bob Woodward’s rendition was also dismantled by Ezra Klein, here. Oops.

Hey, Pssst, Woodward. Come here, let me talk to you in private:

Look, you’re an okay dude, but even if you think the GOP is right about something, they’re probably not. I learned this the hard way a few times and you can learn from my mistakes. If you think they’re right about something double check that shit before you open your mouth, kapish?

(Italics = Private).

But even if it were true, even if Obama set up the sequester trap, Boehner will step right into that shit every time. Obama has been playing a great game of chess. But, on the other…er, opposable thumb…

This is what Republicans are playing. Good luck with that.

Andrew Sullivan has always made the comparison Obama = Road Runner and Boehner = Wile E. Coyote, but some good news for the Republicans, according to his business card, Wile E. Coyote is a super genius. This aint rocket surgery.

Here’s some more scientific reasons for the GOP’s continued suckage. Good thing for them they don’t believe in science, eh? Did you hear about this study suggesting neurological difference between voting D and R? Check out this Penn State/Brown University study. Of course, Fox News covered the news as, “Hey kids, there’s a reason you buy all our malarkey despite any supporting evidence! You use the reptilian parts of your brain more often and more effectively than Democrats! It’s called the amygdala and it governs fear, paranoia, and most Fox & Friends episode.”

Or, as I said in my last post (before reading this study):

“We both arrived at similar conclusions. I arrived at mine through reason and logic and they arrived at theirs through fear and propaganda…the usual.”

—Mick Zano

Yeah, I’m a shameless know-it-all. It’s a shame. I have already covered the neurological deficits of the GOP here, as well as accurately diagnosed them as a collective here. The amygdala is a more primitive part of the brain associated with people who used to beat me up regularly at frat houses. The anterior insula—used more by the Dems to reach decisions—is mammalian in origin. So Republicans’ decision making first arrived on the evolutionary scene…well, this joke says it best:

Brain Studies Suggest GOP is only 290 Million Years Behind!

Fox News: So close to the Mesozoic you can smell it…
Ahh, but we haven’t developed smell yet.

Ask your doctor if the more executive functioning centers of the brain are right for you. Yeah, they’re not just a little behind on the evolutionary scale, but that’s okay because they don’t believe in evolution. So they’re good. And don’t worry, I’m sure sail-backed-synapsids are coming back into style any time now. I kid the Republicans. But studying how one uses the anterior insulate (mammalian) vs. the amygdala (reptilian) has an 83% accuracy in determining whether you will vote D or R. Scary but Truman.

“The only thing to fear is Fox itself”

—FDR

This also ties into a theory I have supported for many years, Beck & Cowan’s Spiral Dynamics. This theory states cultures and individuals move through stages, or levels of consciousness, namely from: tribal thought, to fundamentalism, to entrepreneurialism, to liberalism, to—if you believe the Transpersonalists like Ken Wilber—integral thought. I think this is an accurate theory, but it’s controversial because at first glance it appears hierarchical (a liberal taboo) and Republicans don’t like it (because of their ranking). Of course, the Wilberits would say we can counter these problems by meditating, meditating, meditating! Initially misunderstanding this message, I ended up with a sore palm throughout most of my adolescence.

The dysfunction of our government is primarily of Republican design and most of our current woes are linked to Republican policies. I would love to do a whole post on issues I do agree with the GOP, but thus far it’s only one sentence. But, in their defense, it is a long sentence.

But here’s one disturbing point. There’s no one left to reign Obama in. Let’s be clear…there’s no longer a viable opposition party. Obama is going to push Keynesian economics to its limits, which I personally don’t think is a great idea. He can just dismantle the GOP’s arguments and paint them as crazy. It’s not too difficult as they have a tendency to talk about how they really feel about issues, out loud…with their microphones on. I still feel Obama is fairly moderate in his governing, but nevertheless America is being pushed toward an uber-liberalism and some of this rampant leftism is a direct result of the sad and pathetic behavior of the Foxeteers, or as I put it in my last post:

“One Sean Hannity episode and I’m ready to hand over my gun, have an abortion, and divide all my money equally between my coworkers.”

—Mick Zano

I fear this scenario. What they fear is a larger dimetrodon; their only natural predator. Sorry, back in time again. Precambrian…hmm, if my 8^th grade science is correct that came before the Cambrian.

So if some moment, any moment, you hear emanating from your flat screen the sound of Sean Hannity or Bill O’Reilly, voices filled with vitriol and angst, they are the last gasps of a dying ideology—an ideology trying to muddle its way home from one of the darker corners of the TwiRight Zone.

Let’s let the Zone’s Rod Serling close up shop:

“It’s a sickness known as hate. Not a virus, not a microbe, not a germ. Highly contagious. Deadly in its effects. Don’t look for it in the Twilight Zone. Look for it in the mirror. Look for it before the lights go out altogether…like during the last Super Bowl. Go Ravens!”

—Rod Serling

(Not doctored in any way)

(Honest)

(Okay, perhaps a smidge)

mick_zano@dailydiscord.com

by Mick Zano • May 18, 2009

The origins of clinical neuropsychology are rooted in efforts to address the effects of head injuries sustained by soldiers during World War II. Neuroscientists prefer to study brains when they are not functioning properly, Abbey Normal, if you will. In other words, why wait for the next world war? There is a wealth of knowledge studying Bush and his minions, right here, right now (Jesus Jones, 1990). Bush can, and should, be studied in every psych 101 class. He is the quintessential example of almost every brand of tortured logic. Robert A. Burton, MD has recently spent a great deal of time studying the neural underpinnings of knowing, and what he discovered, much like Pokey’s fascination with the Shit Goblins, is both intriguing and frightening. Dr. Burton looked into how we know what we know, and his answer is surprising (he doesn’t know).

First, here’s what we are certain about certainty. Cognitive dissonance is that quirky tendency to continue to cling to a belief despite overwhelming conflicting evidence. My favorite example involves an exit poll during the 2006 election, wherein 70 percent of Republicans polled in Kansas felt Bush was doing a good job (2006, this millennium, the U.S.A., Earth. Seventy percent approval rating); roll that around in your mouth for a while.

Delusional disorder is fascinating from the standpoint of psychotherapy. Many people with delusional disorder are seemingly “normal”, until you mention the Mafia or the CIA and suddenly you’re talking to a combination of James Bond and Fox Mulder. The symptoms of delusional disorder are cross-cultural but the themes are culture-specific. There is a new American-made theme emerging that I would like to designate “The Illuminati Disorder:. They are already among us!

The basic psychological pitfalls we learn about in those Ivory Towers of Academia are the common cognitive distortions. Briefly, here’s a few put into recent historical context (limited to one example per distortion, which proved challenging):

Groupthink: Everyone thought there were WMDs (Reality: it was only one source, British Intelligence).
Conservatism Bias (Ignoring any new evidence.): Stay the course.
Focusing Effect: After 9/11, the world post 9/11 has had a dramatic 9/11ish impact on post 9/11 strategy and 9/11 thinking. Oh, and by the way, 9/11.
Irrational Escalation: Someone knocked down our buildings. We cannot find the perpetrator, so let’s do something with these bombs. Where is Iraq again?
Illusion of Control: I will spread Democracy throughout the Middle East (one naked pyramid at a time).
Omission Bias: The United States does not torture (unless taunted).
Outcome Bias: Like Truman I will eventually be appreciated for liberating the Iraqi corpses…er, people.
Planning Fallacy (aka, underestimating task-completion): The war will last six days, six weeks, I doubt six months.
Base Rate Fallacy, Framing, and Confirmation Bias (cherry picking statistics.): Fill in your favorite Bush statistical distortion here ___________ .
Post-Purchase Rationalization: Yes it’s about the oil and, of course, the value of my Halliburton stock.
Wishful thinking: See any and all Bush and Cheney related statements made between 2003 and 2008.

The best example of Bush mental lapses is called the Dunning-Kruger Effect. This is a double-your-trouble thought distortion, wherein you screw something up so badly at the onset that you compound the problem by never realizing you goofed. Example: do I have to say it? These can be overcome through the application of cognitive/behavioral therapy and/or daiquiris. President Bush, completely abstinent and having no access to a therapist, well, you get the picture.

Another perhaps less known phenomenon is something called temporal illusions. Essentially our brain makes believe it knows things it can’t possibly know. Such distortions of reality occur not only on a cognitive level, but also on a perceptual one. Our brain, in essence, fills in the gaps. This happens as we perceive things and then again, even more so, when we recall those fond memories, like those days in the sewers of Gotham battling back the Shit Goblin hordes. Can you hear the CHUDS, Fernando? Essentially those who believe we create our own reality may be onto something, even from a neurological perspective (Pokey is convinced the Shit Goblins have already infested our culture, but how does he know this?). In another slightly less delusional example, I felt Bush was wrong at every turn and on every policy since early 2002, and, as it turns out, I was wrong once.

Our unreliable memories and interpretations of events are rather stunning. There are at least eight major memory pitfalls to which we are all susceptible. Psychology has come at it from a variety of angles with only one result: we’re facockda. Studies have created false memories in otherwise psychologically healthy individuals (quite easily). Even knowing the experimental design, participants still refused to believe the memories were false. Back in Faber College, circa 1987, L. Wolfe, Dave, Pokey, Bald Tony, Oscar, Pierce and I rarely agreed on the events of the night before. In my version, I always got the girl, won the pool game, outsmarted the TKEs, and ended the night singing a riveting rendition of “Freebird” to thunderous applause (bad example, I really do sing a mean “Freebird”.) The point is, the police account on the back of my crumpled citation always painted a very different picture.

A new piece of this neurological puzzle leads us back to Dr. Burton’s research on the neural underpinnings of knowing. The good doctor concludes that we do not decide things on a conscious level. Didn’t you ever wonder why all of those ‘aha moments’ seem to happen when we finally stop thinking about the problem? Burton asserts that all of our decisions are fundamentally unconscious. Well, it does explain my dating choices in college.

This is why a nuanced perspective is a considerably higher perspective than fundamentalism. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” This is why there is not nearly as much space between Pat Robertson and Osama Bin Laden as there should be.

Artists and mystics have always attributed knowing to something beyond themselves. The choices behind inspiration then become: (1) individual hidden unconscious thought, (2) the collective unconscious, or (3) God. We know our brains continue to work on problems after we stop thinking about them, and even during sleep. For example, my unresolved problems with Jessica Alba often involve a late night trip to the hamper.

Burton also discovered the area of the brain linked to certainty is not the cerebral cortex, but rather a much more primitive section, the limbic system (the same part of the brain associated with addiction). Not only are our final decisions unconscious in nature, but Burton asserts that once these connections are established, they are difficult to override (similar to the addiction pathways). This creates a “pattern of expectations” that has a life of its own. In addicts, once these superhighways between the amygdala (emotion) and the hippocampus (memory) are forged, we are forever more susceptible to Pavlovian-like triggers, such as passing that bar or hearing that Floyd song on the radio (Robinson, Berridge and some other guy). This isalso the case when we start getting down on ourselves; negative thought patterns become a broken record of sorts.

Unless we can really make truly independent thoughts, we shouldn’t trust them. But how can we trust anything these days? Personally, I wanted to go Afghanistan and kick some Al-Qaeda ass in 2001, but now, a few short years later, I trust nothing but my own conclusions (even those are shaky). Case in point: sorry about ordering that last round of car bombs, Vicky, I’m not usually like that.

Don’t forget to add a collapsing Constitution and a failing global market, which is priming us for some major fictitious neural nitpicking (MFNN). Bush and Roveian tactics have amalgamated the paranoia in our society to a fevered pitch, which will further interfere with our ability to make rational decisions. You see, stress further impairs thinking., as if our own brains weren’t screwed up enough. Neocons remain convinced that to protect ourselves we must embrace a slew of antisocial policies that do not have a prayer of bringing about the desired results. Even faced with the last eight years of catastrophic leadership, they are more afraid of democratic bleeding hearts than of their own sociopathic policies. Not to be out done, liberals will bring ideology to absurd levels. Nancy Pelosi will not allow the harnessing of wind and solar energy in the Mojave Desert, because she can not see that alternative fuel alternatives are more important than the view along route 40 (Let’s not forget how solar energy could disrupt the indigenous desert sand gorgons).

I believe, along with others, that each ideology can be matched to a specific level of consciousness. This thought is revolting to liberals, who again suffer from flat perspective thinking. Sand has as much right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as our children. Both left and right agendas are somewhat delusional if you ask my clinical self (don’t ask my non-clinical self; he likes to kill young women for sport).

In the Journal of Neuroscience, Dr Tali Sharot recently discovered that we tend to choose things that ‘light up’ a particular area of the brain. Activity in this brain region, namely the caudate nucleus, actually predicts choice. Depressing isn’t it?

So where does this leave us? We decide things with an unreliable, easily impressionable, rigid, blinky brain that makes its decisions unconsciously, wonderful. Add an inherent stubbornness to change established viewpoints, and we, as a species, start to suck at this whole rational-thought thing. Free will, becomes Free Willy, becomes Will Farrell. I don’t know what that means; I guess Will Farrell just lights up my caudate nucleus.

It sounds like our species has some work to do if it ever hopes to move toward anything resembling informed independent choice. The government, the media, the Democrats and the Republicans are not to be trusted. Only your own judgments, free of bias, can reach anything resembling the truth. Maybe this is why my predictions have come to pass over the course of the last decade, or, then again, maybe I just suffer from Hindsight Bias. I think I will sleep on that, drink some daiquiris, and dream of Will Farrell.