Bigfoot Subpoenaed to Testify on Benghazi

Bigfoot Subpoenaed to Testify on Benghazi

Many are also questioning Issa’s decision to order the New Jersey Devil to report to a hearing on the 14th.

“This is hypocrisy,” said White House spokesman, Jay Carney. “This is the same guy who refused to subpoena the New Jersey Devil to answer questions about Chris Christie’s Bridge-gate scandal, which would have made at least some sense. And to bother the NJ Devil when it has consistently honored the Pine Barren Peace Treaty of 1988 is the definition of insanity. What next? Are we going to schlep the Loch Ness Monster out of Scotland to field questions about Fast & Furious?”

Issa denies rumors he plans to track down Mothman to testify as well.

“That’s ridiculous. There hasn’t been any recent Mothman sightings in Libya,” said Issa. “Besides, I’ve been sending these subpoena notifications via Tweet, and this Mothman, if that is its real name, hasn’t even bothered to upload an image on its Twitter account. But I am not, at this time, prepared to rule out the Chupacabra, who not only tweets regularly but is likely sucking the blood from goats in this country illegally.”

*Submitted by Mick Zano 5/8/2014

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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