Attempt to Fly Texas Panhandle to Gulf Deemed ‘Abysmal Failure’

If it truly is all about location, location, location, then the desolate Texas panhandle is fated to remain the barren wasteland that it is today. Gulf front property is allegedly the real inspiration behind the multitudes of ‘wind generators’ dotting the northern Texas landscape.

“We’re sick of being permanently wedged between the suckier parts of Oklahoma and the suckier parts of Texas,” states project manager Biff Ayers.  “Why should gulf towns have all the fun?”  Ayers is not discouraged by the fact that the 26,000 square-mile landmass has not moved an inch since the onset of the covert operation: Project Institute Mobilization of Panhandle (PIMP).

“In retrospect positioning the fans to face north would have helped,” admits Ayers.  “It’s just as easy to get these things right, you know.”  The Daily Discord is astounded by the naivety of this ill-fated endeavor, and our own CEO Pierce Winslow believes it would take “easily twice as many fans” to get this plan off the ground.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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