Republicans Insist They Are Not Partisan, Just Stupid

When asked about his disdain for President Obama’s stimulus package, Senator Boehner (R) from Ohio had this to say, “As the economy tanks completely we need some plausible deniability.”

Boehner believes that backing the bill, should it fail, would be catastrophic for the remaining republican egos in both the Senate and the House.

“We would have no one to blame but ourselves, and we can’t have that now, can we?”

When asked why the Senator urged his fellow Republicans to vote ‘yes’ for the 700 billion dollar Bush bail out, which has since disappeared into a few banker’s personal accounts freeing up zero dollars for loans, Boehner had this to say, “Umm, er…actually, I feel, er…you see, truth be told, I was dropped on my head as a child.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.