Top 10 Social Programs Even Obama Won’t Fund

  1. Fighting Childhood Obesity One Fat Little Fuck at a Time
  2. Moms for Masturbation (MfM)
  3. The Social Inclusion Club (members only)
  4. The ‘Playtime with Mr. Bad Touch’ after school program
  5. The ‘So He Beats Me’ Society
  6. (which spawned) The ‘So He Still Beats Me’ Society
  7. MAMIA – Mothers Against More Inane Acronyms
  8. The Fuck Abstinence Program
  9. The Bucket-O-Food Stamps for the Morbidly Obese Initiative
  10. Card Counting for Compulsive Gamblers (OCD Edition)

In truth, the Obama Administration is still considering 1, 5, and 9.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.