And on the Third Day He Rose: Jackson Emerges from UCLA Morgue

Los Angeles, CA — Jesus, Osiris, and Krishna all have their own resurrection myths associated with them.  Heck even Dionysus came back from the dead, but in all fairness he just might have had a three day hangover.  Michael Jackson, not to be out done, has thrown his own crown of thorns into the ring, so to speak.  It is believed Jackson rose from the dead on June 28th to some stunningly choreographed dance numbers.  Critics report most were borrowed from Thriller.  Jackson’s doctor reports the zombie-pop-star (ZPS) finished his set, demanded his glove, his plastic surgeon, and a bucket of Demerol.

Jackson went on to say, “This should qualify me for my own religion, and where is my Demerol?!”

Jackson then devoured several of the hospital staff’s brains before signing a few autographs for some lucky fans—then he devoured their brains as well.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.