All Your Marijuana Predictions Are Going to Pot

Mick Zano

The War on Drugs is ending but not fast enough. Why does it take so long to end republican policies? …uh, maybe because we keep voting for these jokers. Sorry Matt Drudge, but highlighting every pot-related incident from Legalandia will not change the overall trends, namely that the economies of those states are improving as overall crime levels and use-rates plateau. On a related note, why is the half-life of all of our right-wing bullshit greater than Plutonium? AM Radio Isodopes?

Here’s another issue wherein logic seems to elude our conservative friends. Former drug czar Bill Bennett is certainly one of the reasons for these Lingering Drug Misnomers (LDMs). I listened to his whole horrible interview the other day. Oh, and with both LSD and LDMs give yourself about 12 hours to recover. And ask your doctor if living in an alternate reality without hallucinogens is right for you.

Promoting decriminalization doesn’t necessarily mean you condone use; it means you’re simply not as clueless as our republican friends. Many progressives understand the basic premise that education, prevention and treatment are much more effective than this whole knocking-down-doors-fascist approach. Four dead by Ar-pai-o. How many more! Sorry.

What shocked me is how this supposed expert talked for nearly an hour without even accidentally making a valid point. Bennett got his name right, but he really should have stopped there. It was a shocking interview for anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of addiction. And this guy was a drug czar for nearly a decade! What next, Ted Cruz heading NASA? Oh…

Bennett was basically going on about how under his draconian policies in the 80s drug use decreased. And how we can have ongoing success with the War on Drugs, one home invasion at a time. I think the estimated cost of breaking into every house with a pot seed would likely surpass the price tag on Ted Cruz’s ‘Space Fence’, here. Yeah, I don’t remember anyone using drugs in the 80s. Strong work, Elliot Mess.

During the interview his major points were A. Everything must remain illegal or all children will become hooked, B. Pot is very dangerous, and C. Pot is a gateway drug. Who still believes these fairytales? The Brothers Dim? Here’s what happened after the decriminalization of pot in California in 2010:

“Since the law passed in 2010, the rate of both high school dropouts and youth drug overdoses are down by 20 percent, according to a new research report from the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice. Non–marijuana drug arrests for California youth, meanwhile, are also down 23 percent – fully debunking the gateway theory.”

Tim Dickinson, Rolling Stone

It harkens back to one of my major themes on The Discord, whatever republicans think will happen, you can bank on the opposite. It works every time. Bennett also talked about pot-related IQ loss, which is also totally unsubstantiated. The last thing someone on the right should be even discussing is IQ loss as Fox News probably does far more damage to the brain than any illicit substance.

Bennett perseverated on the dangerousness of marijuana and avoided the only accurate fact that it may well be harmful to children. He then talked about the potency being so much stronger these days, which for me evokes a hardy so what? Grain alcohol exists, I prefer beer. We are growing better marijuana, but people will use what they need to get the desired effect. Duh. The biggest bout of denial came in the form of this paraphrased bit:

“How could anyone want this dangerous substance more available in our communities and more of it in the hands of our children!”

—Bill Bennett

Nobody wants that, Bill. It doesn’t change the fact that if we shift our efforts to prevention and treatment there would be less use in the long run. But why wait until that happens? One legalized state is seeing a drop in teen use already, here.

Republicans like Bennett always act as if the War on Drugs has been effective, which is a belief that rivals, well, any of their other false beliefs.

 “The ‘war on drugs’ has been an abject failure and a shameful and scandalous waste of public money. Indeed it is well known, and not disputed, that the very societies that attempt most vigorously to suppress illegal drugs, and in which users are subject to the most stringent penalties, have seen a vast and continuous increase in the per capita consumption of these drugs.”

—Graham Hancock

How do they avoid all of the facts, every flippin’ time, on every flippin’ issue?! If increasing use and availability were the goals of the War on Drugs, then it was a resounding success. I am not advocating for pot use, nor am I a user, but nothing the right preaches about drug addiction has any relevance to this dimensional plane of existence. How long will this bigotry and ignorance rule the day? Sadly, I believe these lingering falsehoods will continue to cloud this topic for years to come. Cough.

(Visited 23 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *