Washington, DC—After some brutal negotiations with Chinese officials, President Obama announced to the press he saved the U.S. both the twenty-five dollar annual fee, plus two fifty-dollar late payment charges. Granted, no progress was made on refinancing or renegotiating our country’s annual percentage rate with our Chinese overlords, but the Obama Administration is hailing this trip as a “major victory.”
“That’s just the beginning,” said Obama’s Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner. “If we transfer our debt over to the EU, they are promising us no interest until 2010!”
When the Discord’s Chief White House Correspondent, Bald Tony, pointed out how that was only a few weeks from now, Geithner furrowed his brow and stared down at his Blackberry.
“I would much rather shift our impossibly high debt to Europe,” said Obama. “After all, they just got me that Peace Prize thingie. It’s the least we can do.”
By shifting the U.S. debt to Europe, Obama hopes, “The United States can continue to pay the minimum balance, which should bring the Federal deficit to manageable levels by…what century is Star Trek supposed to take place?”
Obama is denying plans to hang an Interest Accomplished banner across the White House lawn to commemorate his historic visit.
“I don’t want to repeat my predecessor’s mistakes,” said Obama. “I am content to make a whole slew of new ones.”