Supporting Fascism In The Name Of Freedom

Yeah, uh, stop doing that. Republicans claim to be the great protectors of the constitution, and they’ll impose martial law to prove it. Thankfully the right-wing’s authoritarian skillset is still in its infancy stage, much like their elected officials. After reading my recent review of Albright’s book on fascism, my Republican friend recently added Jonah Goldberg’s book Liberal Fascism to my suggested reading list. Sure the liberal version of fascism exists, but is it really the problem today? There’s an alt-right ideology in the oval office, so let’s focus instead on some ANTIFA-type wandering the ghetto with a ‘safe space’ sign? Really? To summarize our debates over the years, it’s my list of ‘ongoing Republican atrocities’ vs. my friend’s list of ‘perceived liberal insults’. Whereas liberal led investigations tend to end in indictments, theirs end only with more ‘questions’. Quibbling over the details while missing every sign of the Trumpocalypse is crazy making. Pokey, Pokey, if this were the movie Jaws, and those first ominous ‘dah-dums’ started playing in the background, you’d be too focused on your Jelly Fish Menace op-ed piece to notice …which you’re writing from a floatie …after you cut your leg shaving. Sorry, but you can’t put ads in the newspaper for a presidential strongman and then talk to me about the importance of being a constitutionalist.

[Retraction: I guess you can.]

Can’t you just look at the big picture for a minute? You remain a card-carrying member of the pathologically lying, voter suppression for freedom party. How do you justify that as a truthseeker? A constitutionalist voting for Trump is like a guy trying to get a doctorate on the Marx Brothers by doing his thesis on Zeppo. It’s just not funny. The last two people I voted for spoke in complete sentences, in fact, they still do. Can you say that? …in a complete sentence? Are constitutionalists of the future losing their linguistic ability in favor of some form of founding father telepathy? Extrasensory misperception? Remote dimming? Gastral projection?  I’m being told to stop.

Evil and dumb is not smart and savvy, no matter how many times Hannity’s America claims otherwise. If you voted for Trump you don’t care about our constitution or our institutions, in fact, maybe you and your candidate should check yourself into one. The real problem? What if someone with brains emerged from the chaos you’re stoking? Despite the ongoing purge of the Republican intelligentsia the surfacing of an inscrutable tyrant is a very real possibility.

In a recent comment thread, my friend asked for examples of any meaningful constitutional deliberations we’ve had here on the Discord. I would prefer to have these conversations post the GOP …you know, once Republican thought itself is housed in a museum somewhere, maybe alongside all those civil war statues. Today, even one Republican in office is one too many.

Recap Alert:

As for the constitution, I have been critical of Obama’s expansion of the NSA program, the drone program, as well as the constitutionality of the Patriot Act that allowed these problems to happen in the first place (before it was passed into law). We’ve had these conversations. Dubya also circumvented the Bill of Rights to create secret prisons, tortured people without due process (including American citizens), while handing all the sweet reconstruction/contract deals to their buddies after a war he lied us into. And I covered these as they were happening, not years later.

But let’s not minimize my friend’s concerns: namely, how Hillary Clinton parachuted into that Benghazi compound and gunned down those men, and her connection to a child sex slave ring under a pizza parlor, uh, and something about gay wedding cakes. You’re not asleep at the switch, Pokey; you’re a post head-shot zombie with a gnawing disability. Over the years I have listed dozens of examples of how Republican decidin’ continues to directly impact my world, even my retirement plans, old list here. Republicans cost us all mightily in 2008 and will again, soon enough, through the systematic deregulation of Wall Street and continued economic recklessness.

Meanwhile, the Republican utopia is a sweatshop at the heart of a ‘right to work’ state, minus any collective bargaining rights. Nice. Republicans, left unchecked, will take everything from us, because that’s what they do. It’s all they do. They are the deficits without benefits people; they are the fuck-the-common-man-in-the-name-of-the-middle-class folks. And nothing of any relevance that my blogvesary has ever uttered on this website, as rare as those gems are, can be linked back to his political party in any way, shape, or reform.

Under conservative rule most of our citizenry will remain one medical procedure away from disaster, and they will likely move Social Security and Medicare eligibility until two years after your death. U.S. healthcare and life expectancy stats just fell off a cliff, dropping 21 places in the world under Herr Ass-clown. And, yes, we’re now officially the only free industrialized country in the world in this position. Start doing your homework, and stop doing their bidding.

The Republican version of freedom seems more like a screwtopia to me. What? We all have the freedom to live as foolishly and unimaginatively as a Republican? Wow. Sign me up! These are irreconcilable differences at this point, because there just isn’t enough time left to change the fate of this country or this planet. For decades your side has increased our polarization for political gains and now you’re mad about the outcomes. Really? We’ve all been Gingriched. Destroying our institutions is not saving them, up is not down, educated is not uneducated, no insurance is not healthcare, a diminishing role in the world is not a larger role, and unconstitutional is not constitutional.

[Irresponsibility: what’s your policy?]

The key difference between right and left in 2018? At least with liberalism there is a core worth saving. Under Republican rule, women and minority rights will continue to dwindle as election fraud through Gerrymandering and targeted voter suppression increases. We have allowed the hijacking of our political system by the misguided minority for too long. And this is all happening to the backdrop of mass deregulation, which is essentially a return to burying toxic barrels in the backyard. Aww, look kids, Republicans are just planting the next superfund sites. So thoughtful. Slime capsules? They will strip-mine the last of our national parks, rape our treasures, while supporting and fomenting a new and stronger authoritarianism across the globe. And, yes, fascism is taking root in this country too, Pokey—and it’s fascism of the actual ‘in power’ variety, not theoretical. This happened while you were too busy insulting our intelligence and the communities associated with it. If you don’t like the way the government is running, why don’t you look at the people you elected to run it, instead of inventing villains through lies. My final question to you is this: why do you invariably give the benefit of the doubt to the creeps who have always misled us? Sorry, but you and your ilk would need to actually adopt some values for us to share them. You believe you will be raptured, but until then I think you should be held accountable.









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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.