Dear Ghetto Shaman,

I read your article Malt Liquor Mindfulness and, all I can say is, what the hell, dude?  Really?  There’s nothing logical or scientific or spiritual about your approach to enlightenment.   Not remotely.

Joey V.

Seattle, WA

Dear John,

Nonsense, I use the scientific method quite rigorously by applying geophysical and biomagnetic concepts to my binge drinking.  Have you ever heard of the Ainu people of Asia and their great Bear Festival? Well, instead of sacrificing a bear, I just transcended one letter to include the plant spirits of hops and barely.  More is explained in my latest masterpiece: Bud Lightenment: Hemp, Hops and Hotties.

The Ghetto Shaman