The Ground—Hundreds of planes fell from the sky yesterday shortly after the announcement from the FAA that all passengers could safely turn on their electronic devices inflight. Several planes actually crashed into Obamacare which many are calling suspicious.
“It’s bittersweet,” said one FAA manager, Harry Bostwick. “It’s sad to see all those people die, horribly, but it’s nice to know we were right all those years to have people shut off their damned iShit.”
The FAA claims it was under a lot of pressure “from that guy in 4C” to lift the ban on inflight electronic devices. “Eventually we were like, okay whatever, anything to shut that guy up,” said Bostwick. “On a good note that guy died, horribly, when his plane crashed into Obamacare.”
The FAA admits part of their reluctance to lift the ban involved a fear of losing inflight movie revenue. “It was never about safety,” said Bostwick. “It’s always been about that extra two bucks per passenger for Hangover 2.”