CIA Headquarters—CIA director John Brennan took offense to Trump’s recent comment comparing the U.S. intelligence community to Nazi Germany. He warned the President-elect, “The CIA is not going to put up with your bullshit, mister. Someone had the same little chat with JFK.” He then called the recent disparaging remarks aimed at the intelligence community as “bigly dumb” and “wanktankerous”.  The CIA Director then later admitted he made up the last word at a bar, during happy hour, at his favorite pub. Once sober, Brennan told the press his comments were still appropriate and later added, “Even the wanktankerous part.”

When asked if the CIA was implying that they would consider assassinating Trump, Brennan said, “No, that was just a figure of speech. Look, we only received two magic bullets in that deal with our Galacian overlords. I am 100% positive that we do not want to use the last one in our arsenal on that asshole. Besides, it could just get stuck in his hair. They’re not reusable, you know, so I can’t see us taking a chance like that. No, if we’re going to take out anyone it’s going to be Sessions. That guy is an A-1 douchebag.”

Brennan then commented on Trump’s bromance with Putin, “I don’t think the President-elect understands the complexities of our relationship with Russia, or their capabilities. I think he is being naïve, childlike and reckless,” before adding, “And, frankly, that’s our job.”