Bush Celebrates Memorial Day by Skipping Out on Tab

Bush Celebrates Memorial Day by Skipping Out on Tab

Amarillo, TX—When the tab for his party arrived, George W. Bush was already heading for the door. What could be a more poignant way to celebrate Memorial Day, he thought, than to skip out on the tab? Our former President and his guests rushed out of Amarillo’s premiere meatery, the Big Texan Steak Ranch, leaving a nearly $200 tab unpaid.

Our former President later told reporters, “For me Memorial Day is a special kind of day when we celebrate those special kind of voters who got me re-elected. And leaving without paying was a fitting gesture.”

When asked why, Bush said, “Look, Memorial Day is about celebrating the past. If you’ll remember, I didn’t really pay for anything during my presidency either, social programs, wars, hookers, nothing. This was a special day of remembrance…and I remember not paying for anything.”

When asked if this is in honor of missing most of his National Guard duty during the Vietnam War, Bush smiled, “I wouldn’t say I missed it, heh heh heh.”

Dan Rather was unavailable for comment.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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