Another Shopper Vanishes Into the Bloomingdale Triangle

Another Shopper Vanishes into the Bloomingdale Triangle

The disappearing shopper was last seen purchasing a Gucci handbag on Fifth Avenue, before shopping quietly into oblivion. The role-playing video game manufacturers of the same name are protesting any association. A retailer at Gucci remembers the woman, “She had about a dozen bags slung over every appendage. She could barely carry them all. I distinctly remember the smell of burning plastic about her. It was an unpleasant smell that made me a little queasy. I didn’t think anything of it at the time as that happens here a lot.”

When asked if any hope remained for the woman’s safe return, Dr. Hogbein said, “I’m afraid she’s gone platinum. At the point of her last purchase, economic pressures literally crushed her in a process known as Citi-fication. Yes, I just made that up.”

The Discord’s Search Truth Quest team sent field reporter Cokie McGrath into the heart of the phenomenon with a pile of CEO Pierce Winslow’s credit cards. The plan was never authorized so this will be the last day Mick Zano will be working for The Discord. McGrath was last seen leaving Saks Fifth Avenue in a hazy cloud of burning plastic.

Just before she disappeared someone reported hearing McGrath say, “Hi ho, Silver, away!” …which is odd, because she was using a gold card.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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