Dear Pokey, for our two decades long debates, we’ve spent a lot of time—all of it, actually—covering the rightwing alternative narratives, which, at least thus far, never panned out. They end, year after year, ‘scandal’ after ‘scandal’, special counsel after special counsel, judge after Dredd, minus any relevant findings. Certainly, at least 90% of what you’ve been on about from Uranium One, to Benghazi to Stop the Steal ended …well, let’s just say, the primary ingredient turned out to be Foxal matter (Fecally Fortified Political Scat—an acronym that even makes its own farting sound). Why not start to question your news sources, or your own biases? What is your aversion to calling an Alex Jones an Alex Jones? Can we please finally discuss the elephant in the room? We are coming up on 20 years of blogging. Let’s look at some history.
[I’ll be Beck joke removed by a time-traveling California Governor.]
Pokey: It’s fine to argue from a big picture perspective, if and only if, you first establish your more specific assumptions that lead to your Big Picture extrapolation. You haven’t established any in my estimation.
Zano: Wow. Go back and read my first sentence, in fact, why not process US history 2001-2016? Can’t we please talk about patterns? I think there’s a lot of insight hidden in those endless battles.
Pokey: I choose to start with a very specific statement involving Trump Russia Collusion, so that we can both agree on an established assertion and move on from there. That’s why I ask you for a very specific statement on this matter or any matter, so that I can agree or restate the statement in a way that we can both agree. Otherwise an argumentative conversation or debate is just two people talking at each other. So try it please. Restate the statement I made about Steele, Igor and the Dems dossier in a way that you believe is accurate.
Zano: I know how you choose to operate, and it’s precisely why we’ve been mired in rightwing propaganda instead of addressing the actual issues of our time. I choose to make jokes (mostly funny), and then make predictions (mostly accurate). But I was hoping that for once you could take a step back and attempt to glean some insight into your own irrelevance. I guess from a patterns perspective, you’re saying this:
“For the last two decades conservatives have screwed the proverbial pooch, but we still have more questions for Hillary Clinton and Sasquatch about that Dossier.”
—John Q. Republican
Fun Fact: this includes a failed insurrection.
Zano: You are impossible. I knew you’d pick the one lingering fart left in the room. First, I would change the words ‘duly elected’ to ‘with help from Moscow’ and ‘president’ to ‘criminal ass-clown’. Every 20 years I’d like one discussion on why you seem to follow false leads into oblivion (present scandal excluded, because it’s always the present scandal). During such a debate, we should avoid the zenwrongness theories: CRT, Spygate, COVID, because we don’t know how they end yet. I do, of course, but mere mortals don’t.
You see, kids, GOP-types forever harp on the news cycle of the day, or the last Fox Only News Yarn (FONY); this is their Modus Operandi. During today’s discussion, on cue, you immediately shift focus as well. Squirrel! And, if I’m right and we’re already living in a post-America, then most of the stuff on your docket, if true, won’t have enough time to matter much. If this is an American autopsy, you’d be interviewing maggot-1.
Zano: No. These are present issues! You will always have one more link from some guy, which is my point. These bits have yet to be pulled out of Hannity’s Easy Fake Oven. Why is this so hard? Last 20 years of history vs some guy’s YouTube vid from last week? We have our own work to cite, on this site, but I guess I’m not going to win this one.
Pokey: I think our debates miss the mark because I give you factual statements, none of which you refute or amend, but then you counter with some abstract, overly generalized assessment that addresses none of my points. I honestly assess the statements I make about Collusion, Covid, and Critical Theory. Is there anything that you agree with? Disagree? Amend? Anything meaningful provided? Specific references please.
Zano: With jokes. Don’t forget my jokes. And I have been answering your questions for 20 years, with references. Real ones. It’s your turn to answer mine. Fine. Have it your way …but, first, in conclusion:
Whereas my a predictions and warnings over 15 years about Dubya, Trump, and the rest of the rightwing media have proven to be prophetic, my distinguished colleague’s counter-theories took a collective dump. Current issues excluded.
Pokey: For any of your examples we can choose to work together to agree upon the best most reasonable and accurate explanation of the known facts. We must revisit the big story from 5-years ago: “Trump Russia Collusion,” because that story is at the basis for all the controversies that followed: Ukraine Collusion, 2020 election, and the Jan 6th “insurrection.” We now know these facts: Hillary cheated Sanders out of the nomination, the Democratic Party then paid a foreign spy, Christopher Steele, to travel to Russia in order to find seedy information on Donald Trump. In Russia, Christopher Steele met with his informant Igor Danchenka, a Russian spy, who had received his information from a Democratic operative, Charles Dolan.
Zano: I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Fine, but first take the quotes surrounding insurrection and where them over your earbuds.
Pokey: All I’m concerned with is the most accurate understanding and explanation of what actually occurred. Since the Dems, Steele, Igor, and Dolan are in the news right now, we can start there. Let’s come to consensus about what actually occurred.
Pokey: Every politician has their baggage: the foreign business dealings operated through the Clinton Foundation, and Biden’s foreign money from China, Russia, and Ukraine. etc. There are few squeaky clean politicians (except very unsuccessful ones). Best we can hope for? The media does its job and is willing to probe into the past of all candidates, so that voters can make informed decisions. I looked into and considered Clinton Foundation corruption as well as Trump’s business corruption before casting my vote for Trump. Then the Democrat Party, again, who rigged the primary for Hillary, took corruption to another level by extrapolating upon Trump’s business corruption to fabricate “Trump-Russia Collusion” narrative as demonstrated by the facts revealed about the development of “The Steele Dossier.”
Zano: Your factoid, admittedly, a bigger one than usual—namely, Hillary bumping Bernie for the nomination—seems True (no investigation), but your second premise: Hillary invented the collusion-narrative herself, will prove False (pending investigation). One factoid followed by a lie is not a pattern, at least not the one you think.
You always want me to comment on the latest unconfirmed segment of your latest yarn. What do you want me say? The theory as espoused on the LockHerUp subreddit by WackemJackson55 sounds intriguing? I will acknowledge much of the Dossier data proved false, but this doesn’t erase any of Mueller’s findings and if Hillary committed a crime during her campaign research, why hasn’t Barr, Horowitz, Durham, or anyone else found it yet? Why is it always some clandestine Reddit member’s 4chan blog droppings? Don’t forget, digging up dirt on your opponent is a time honored tradition in American politics; the GOP is a monkey forever flinging its own feces, so there’s no way on earth they’d support outlawing feces.
Step 1: Load Bearing Factoid: Start with something true, or true-ish. Hillary conducted legal opposition-research, and Hillary ran roughshod over the nomination. I actually agree with you on the second one. Hillary rolled over DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz by floating the DNC financially. As a result, Hillary assumed way too much control prior to the completion of the nomination process. I think this all happened, but not sure, minus any formal investigation, where, or if, any criminality lies.
Step 2: Rainbow Bridge (totally butch GOP version): Then you need to add lots of lies, in great quantity, as to connect them to the more damning fictional allegations with which to craft a fully false unverified narrative (FFUN!). The next step is created through speculation, disreputable sources, political hacks and, yes, some guy’s YouTube videos. Historically, when these versions of events hit a court room, they are thrown out (with prejudice). A similar scenario nearly ended our democracy way back on 1/6. But the story has to keep moving, or the shark dies. So when the rightwing media realized Hillary’s Dossier dabblings were legal, it became necessary to up the ante. Enters: Collusion She Wrote. Wherever the facts end in the life of a scandal, they invent the next tier of truly outrageous allegations to maintain the intrigue. It’s kept The GOP relevant despite their record.
Step 3: The Truth: If you’re a republican, be sure to ignore that. Suffice to say, Trump’s legal Russia vulnerability is just beginning. My links to actual news sources are meaningless as they will never match the integrity of some guy’s YouTube video.
Pokey: I will acknowledge that Manafort and Trump both had sketchy and corrupt business dealings with the Russian government, but my version of events remains the most reasonable explanation of the known facts.
Zano: Wait, here’s the Action Jackson version!
Wonder Woman (Hillary Clinton) used James Bond (Christopher Steele) to bring down Lex Luther (Donald Trump) for conspiring with Ivan the Terrible (Vladimir Putin). In scene IV, a Russian spy named Boris Badenov (Igor Danchenko) lied to Mr. Bond, so that Lex Luther could speed off in his golf cart to Die Another Die. [Oh, and don’t consult Q on this one; it’s a different Q.]
You can break any of my friend’s narratives down similarly, past, present, or future. Let’s do COVID flash-mob style!
Load Bearing Factoid: COVID’s Wuhan origin.
Rainbow Bridge: Add stuff like, the entire global scientific community is lying to the world to embarrass Trump, and Dems struck a deal with the reptilians to use the vaccination mandate to create a slave race to harvest crickets. Stuff like that. Admittedly, that last one has yet to be disproven.
The Hidden Truth: Take the damn shot.
If your version of events proves true on this one, and Dolan fed the information to Steele via Hillary Clinton, then I will call the po-po myself.
[Hillary Street Blues joke removed by the editor.]
I will look into this Dolan business and will report back, as always, but the initial premise of this article had nothing to do with the drummer of the Monkees. I don’t know how we ended up missing the Last Train to Clarksville. Maybe something will come from this …because I’m a Believer. Kidding, it’s probably garbage. The latest damning revelations always are. And if there was every any doubt that this falsehood supply chain could run out, if Trump’s new media empire gets off the ground, you’ll get a healthy crop, indefinitely.
Bonus round: a Spygate summary in equation form: