Blogging Legends Of The Fall

Dear Pokey, for our two decades long debates, we’ve spent a lot of time—all of it, actually—covering the rightwing alternative narratives, which, at least thus far, never panned out. They end, year after year, ‘scandal’ after ‘scandal’, special counsel after special counsel, judge after Dredd, minus any relevant findings. Certainly, at least 90% of what you’ve been on about from Uranium One, to Benghazi to Stop the Steal ended  …well, let’s just say, the primary ingredient turned out to be Foxal matter (Fecally Fortified Political Scat—an acronym that even makes its own farting sound). Why not start to question your news sources, or your own biases? What is your aversion to calling an Alex Jones an Alex Jones? Can we please finally discuss the elephant in the room? We are coming up on 20 years of blogging. Let’s look at some history.

[I’ll be Beck joke removed by a time-traveling California Governor.]

Pokey: It’s fine to argue from a big picture perspective, if and only if, you first establish your more specific assumptions that lead to your Big Picture extrapolation. You haven’t established any in my estimation.

Zano: Wow. Go back and read my first sentence, in fact, why not process US history 2001-2016? Can’t we please talk about patterns? I think there’s a lot of insight hidden in those endless battles.

Pokey: I choose to start with a very specific statement involving Trump Russia Collusion, so that we can both agree on an established assertion and move on from there. That’s why I ask you for a very specific statement on this matter or any matter, so that I can agree or restate the statement in a way that we can both agree. Otherwise an argumentative conversation or debate is just two people talking at each other. So try it please. Restate the statement I made about Steele, Igor and the Dems dossier in a way that you believe is accurate.

Zano: I know how you choose to operate, and it’s precisely why we’ve been mired in rightwing propaganda instead of addressing the actual issues of our time. I choose to make jokes (mostly funny), and then make predictions (mostly accurate). But I was hoping that for once you could take a step back and attempt to glean some insight into your own irrelevance. I guess from a patterns perspective, you’re saying this:

“For the last two decades conservatives have screwed the proverbial pooch, but we still have more questions for Hillary Clinton and Sasquatch about that Dossier.”

—John Q. Republican

Fun Fact: this includes a failed insurrection.

Pokey:  Look, there’s mounting evidence that the Steele Dossier was created and used by Donald Trump’s political adversaries as a way to overthrow a duly elected president. Let’s start there, to see if we can agree on this. Is there anything I’ve just stated with which you disagree? How would you more accurately express it?

Zano: You are impossible. I knew you’d pick the one lingering fart left in the room. First, I would change the words ‘duly elected’ to ‘with help from Moscow’ and ‘president’ to ‘criminal ass-clown’. Every 20 years I’d like one discussion on why you seem to follow false leads into oblivion (present scandal excluded, because it’s always the present scandal). During such a debate, we should avoid the zenwrongness theories: CRT, Spygate, COVID, because we don’t know how they end yet. I do, of course, but mere mortals don’t.

You see, kids, GOP-types forever harp on the news cycle of the day, or the last Fox Only News Yarn (FONY); this is their Modus Operandi. During today’s discussion, on cue, you immediately shift focus as well. Squirrel! And, if I’m right and we’re already living in a post-America, then most of the stuff on your docket, if true, won’t have enough time to matter much. If this is an American autopsy, you’d be interviewing maggot-1.

Is your links and media sources fully to blame, or is it the myopicness of the issues you choose to focus on, or is something else going on? Perspective is another clear issue. Facts need placed in the right category or level of relevance/magnitude. Your points over the years fall into either true, but fairly meaningless, or patently false. Team ‘Murica takes one factoid and then crafts a false narrative. This is a pattern.

Pokey: Your are simply creating an amorphous smokescreen that clouds the fact that you have never yet refuted or acknowledged any of the claims I’ve made, claims that challenge the very implication that there is any “fire” at all at the source of your smokescreen’s conjecture.

Zano: Amorphous? Are they the people who sell stuff out of their garage?

Pokey: That’s Amway.

Zano: Oh. And that’s another lie; I’ve spent years following you into rabid hole after rabid hole, year after year, link after link. I’m just trying to establish some rules for this one feature. Hercules 13th labor? For those following at home, we are shifting away from the Ghosts of Pokey’s Past to jump to his more recent delusions. Dude, we are in a unique position to review and discuss 15 years of finalized history (predictions, scores, findings, trends) as they relate to our own discussion/predictions. Some patterns have clearly surfaced.

Pokey: I could say the same thing about Black Lives Matter, Critical Theory, and the ‘Woke’ Movement, which are more pertinent today. I seek to understand these worldviews and the agendas that they promote. For this one, I’ve gone to New Discourse YouTube channel which provides book reviews of leaders and influencers, past and present, of these movements which are essentially the same movement. They also provide a definition of Critical Race Theory based on his study of the statements and writings of its leaders.

Zano: No. These are present issues! You will always have one more link from some guy, which is my point. These bits have yet to be pulled out of Hannity’s Easy Fake Oven. Why is this so hard? Last 20 years of history vs some guy’s YouTube vid from last week? We have our own work to cite, on this site, but I guess I’m not going to win this one.

Pokey: I think our debates miss the mark because I give you factual statements, none of which you refute or amend, but then you counter with some abstract, overly generalized assessment that addresses none of my points. I honestly assess the statements I make about Collusion, Covid, and Critical Theory. Is there anything that you agree with? Disagree? Amend? Anything meaningful provided? Specific references please.

Zano: With jokes. Don’t forget my jokes. And I have been answering your questions for 20 years, with references. Real ones. It’s your turn to answer mine. Fine. Have it your way …but, first, in conclusion:

Whereas my a predictions and warnings over 15 years about Dubya, Trump, and the rest of the rightwing media have proven to be prophetic, my distinguished colleague’s counter-theories took a collective dump. Current issues excluded.

Pokey: For any of your examples we can choose to work together to agree upon the best most reasonable and accurate explanation of the known facts. We must revisit the big story from 5-years ago: “Trump Russia Collusion,” because that story is at the basis for all the controversies that followed: Ukraine Collusion, 2020 election, and the Jan 6th “insurrection.” We now know these facts: Hillary cheated Sanders out of the nomination, the Democratic Party then paid a foreign spy, Christopher Steele, to travel to Russia in order to find seedy information on Donald Trump. In Russia, Christopher Steele met with his informant Igor Danchenka, a Russian spy, who had received his information from a Democratic operative, Charles Dolan.

Zano: I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Fine, but first take the quotes surrounding insurrection and where them over your earbuds.

Pokey: All I’m concerned with is the most accurate understanding and explanation of what actually occurred. Since the Dems, Steele, Igor, and Dolan are in the news right now, we can start there. Let’s come to consensus about what actually occurred.

Zano: Okay, but when you’re wrong about Clinton on this one—specifically, that she fully invented the Dossier, aka false allegation 97—will you finally admit how your witch hunts are distractions, never designed to reform anything (see: campaign ethics, opposition research reform, tax reform, embassy security, the FISA process, election integrity, or the IRS)? Kidding, by then you will be totally fixated on Kamalagate after her staffers were discovered deep in a disputed area or Romulan space. Patterns.

Pokey: Every politician has their baggage: the foreign business dealings operated through the Clinton Foundation, and Biden’s foreign money from China, Russia, and Ukraine. etc. There are few squeaky clean politicians (except very unsuccessful ones). Best we can hope for? The media does its job and is willing to probe into the past of all candidates, so that voters can make informed decisions. I looked into and considered Clinton Foundation corruption as well as Trump’s business corruption before casting my vote for Trump. Then the Democrat Party, again, who rigged the primary for Hillary, took corruption to another level by extrapolating upon Trump’s business corruption to fabricate “Trump-Russia Collusion” narrative as demonstrated by the facts revealed about the development of “The Steele Dossier.”

Zano:  Your factoid, admittedly, a bigger one than usual—namely, Hillary bumping Bernie for the nomination—seems True (no investigation), but your second premise: Hillary invented the collusion-narrative herself, will prove False (pending investigation). One factoid followed by a lie is not a pattern, at least not the one you think.

You always want me to comment on the latest unconfirmed segment of your latest yarn. What do you want me say? The theory as espoused on the LockHerUp subreddit by WackemJackson55 sounds intriguing? I will acknowledge much of the Dossier data proved false, but this doesn’t erase any of Mueller’s findings and if Hillary committed a crime during her campaign research, why hasn’t Barr, Horowitz, Durham, or anyone else found it yet? Why is it always some clandestine Reddit member’s 4chan blog droppings? Don’t forget, digging up dirt on your opponent is a time honored tradition in American politics; the GOP is a monkey forever flinging its own feces, so there’s no way on earth they’d support outlawing feces.

[‘Murica runs on Dookie joke removed by those damnable donut people.]

Let’s do Spygate, pattern-style:

Spygate

Step 1: Load Bearing Factoid: Start with something true, or true-ish. Hillary conducted legal opposition-research, and Hillary ran roughshod over the nomination. I actually agree with you on the second one. Hillary rolled over DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz by floating the DNC financially. As a result, Hillary assumed way too much control prior to the completion of the nomination process. I think this all happened, but not sure, minus any formal investigation, where, or if, any criminality lies.

Step 2: Rainbow Bridge (totally butch GOP version): Then you need to add lots of lies, in great quantity, as to connect them to the more damning fictional allegations with which to craft a fully false unverified narrative (FFUN!). The next step is created through speculation, disreputable sources, political hacks and, yes, some guy’s YouTube videos. Historically, when these versions of events hit a court room, they are thrown out (with prejudice). A similar scenario nearly ended our democracy way back on 1/6. But the story has to keep moving, or the shark dies. So when the rightwing media realized Hillary’s Dossier dabblings were legal, it became necessary to up the ante. Enters: Collusion She Wrote. Wherever the facts end in the life of a scandal, they invent the next tier of truly outrageous allegations to maintain the intrigue. It’s kept The GOP relevant despite their record.

Step 3: The Truth: If you’re a republican, be sure to ignore that. Suffice to say, Trump’s legal Russia vulnerability is just beginning. My links to actual news sources are meaningless as they will never match the integrity of some guy’s YouTube video.

Pokey: I will acknowledge that Manafort and Trump both had sketchy and corrupt business dealings with the Russian government, but my version of events remains the most reasonable explanation of the known facts.

Zano: Wait, here’s the Action Jackson version!

Wonder Woman (Hillary Clinton) used James Bond (Christopher Steele) to bring down Lex Luther (Donald Trump) for conspiring with Ivan the Terrible (Vladimir Putin). In scene IV, a Russian spy named Boris Badenov (Igor Danchenko) lied to Mr. Bond, so that Lex Luther could speed off in his golf cart to Die Another Die. [Oh, and don’t consult Q on this one; it’s a different Q.]

You can break any of my friend’s narratives down similarly, past, present, or future. Let’s do COVID flash-mob style!

Load Bearing Factoid: COVID’s Wuhan origin.

Rainbow Bridge: Add stuff like, the entire global scientific community is lying to the world to embarrass Trump, and Dems struck a deal with the reptilians to use the vaccination mandate to create a slave race to harvest crickets. Stuff like that. Admittedly, that last one has yet to be disproven.

The Hidden Truth: Take the damn shot.

Pokey: All I care about is that you address this statement—the Democratic Party paid a foreign spy, Christopher Steele to go to Russia to find dirt on Trump. Steele met with Russia Igor, who had previously received information from a Democratic operative, Dolan. The information given by Dolan to Igor and then to Steele became the Steele Dossier. The only thing I ask is that you specifically address this statement. Either acknowledge it as true, refute it as false, or express it more accurately in your own words
Zano: Well said. That is exactly the pattern I wanted to discuss today and my ultimate point. As we spiral toward civil war and as our country collapses around our feet. Thank you for making it crystal clear that all you care about is the unproven spam in you inbox. This wasn’t supposed to be yet another bit on ‘what ifs,’ which is all we’ve done since 2001; it was supposed be one feature on ‘what is’. What is already in the books. And I knew you couldn’t do it. Another good prediction?

If your version of events proves true on this one, and Dolan fed the information to Steele via Hillary Clinton, then I will call the po-po myself.

[Hillary Street Blues joke removed by the editor.]

I will look into this Dolan business and will report back, as always, but the initial premise of this article had nothing to do with the drummer of the Monkees. I don’t know how we ended up missing the Last Train to Clarksville. Maybe something will come from this …because I’m a Believer. Kidding, it’s probably garbage. The latest damning revelations always are. And if there was every any doubt that this falsehood supply chain could run out, if Trump’s new media empire gets off the ground, you’ll get a healthy crop, indefinitely.

Bonus round: a Spygate summary in equation form:

Hillary hired Steele (Yes) + Hillary concocted the Dossier (pending) = The US became irrelevant while you hyper-focused on this crap.

I understand the left has flown off the rails in 2021. This includes the mainstream media. In fact, I predicted that too. Liberals today are starting to remind me of Fox News viewers. We now have misinformed lefties trying to out-dumb misinformed rightwingers. It’s the end game shit that I’ve been on about. This is why since the pandemic I have shifted from 90% pro-liberal articles to roughly 50/50. Another trend you missed. Whereas you ignored your side’s atrocities for decades, I went zero months before admonishing my liberal cohorts. Many progressive journalists, comedians, and bloggers are already covering these disturbing trends. But I wanted to spend a few minutes discussing how we got here? I guess that’s too much to ask, Fun Fact: I may change my status to independent, because I refuse to be affiliated with any party even half has idiotic as the GOP. Cue that Bon Jovi song… No, no the other one. Just think about it, geesh.

 

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.