Washington, DC – President Barak Obama announced today that Operation Troop Tarry has moved into the final part of the third phase, wherein the decision to schedule the pre-meeting to establish several meetings between the Obama Administration and several key military personnel can commence.

“Our troops on the ground in Afghanistan can not wait another minute,” said Obama. “Due to the urgent need for a decision regarding troop levels, we are skipping Assignment Afghani Adjourn and moving directly to Project Prolong Executive Endeavor.” 

When asked what that meant, Obama tapped on his teleprompter and muttered something about Bible thumping hickwads.

Apparently, the first in a series of nearly scheduled meetings will initiate Operation Outlook Express, wherein the secretaries of all prospective attendees will establish a time and place for the pre-meeting round table discussion (PMRTD), where all agenda items for the Stall Symposium will be finalized. 

Obama assured the press, “Once the agenda is set for the pre-scheduling of the meeting’s meeting, our Shock and Defer Campaign can kick into full procrastination mode.”

When asked directly when General McChrystal can expect an answer on troop levels in Afghanistan, Obama replied, “When does the Mayan calendar end again?”