Dear Ghetto Shaman,

I am wrestling with what to do about my mother’s failing health. She is getting up there in years but the idea of a nursing home scares her.  I’m just not ready for this, but I fear she might be.  Thoughts?

Sandy E.

Sierra Vista, AZ

Dear Sandy,

Good news! I would like to announce the grand opening of my new nursing home in northern Arizona, a land sacred to my bartenders.  My nature nursing home retreat can accommodate any number of elderly folk.  Heck, they stack like cord wood.  During the summer months, my program focuses on Sweat Lodging and, for the winter months, I have designed a series of meditations to increase body temperature despite the extreme cold. At my roadside culvert for the aged, I will always be available for your loved one (or at least at the bar across the street).  If suffering is the key to enlightenment, then this program is surely strife in the fast lane. 

No senior citizen discounts for obvious reasons.

The Ghetto Shaman