La Habra, CA—Refusing to be outdone, Octomom sent her eight children into the stratosphere today via a canoe strapped to several hundred helium balloons in the hopes of their safe arrival in London, Belgium. When it was pointed out that London wasn’t in Belgium, Octomom became irate, as she had apparently “promised them waffles.”
When asked if this was done as a publicity stunt, she said, “Fuck yeah,” as well as several other expletives, mostly involving swear words.
Provided most of the children survive, Octomom was promised a starring role in a reality TV show this Fall.
Octomom told the press today, “I could eat that little yachting-around-the-world bitch for lunch…Oh, and fuck Balloon Boy!”
Octomom reportedly drew the line at lighting the canoe on fire at the onset of the merry voyage.
“You have to draw the line somewhere,” said Octomom. “Otherwise those bitches from Child Protective Services are back in droves.”
If you noticed there are only seven children in the canoe and not eight…ahhh, that has more to do with the PhotoShop prowess of one, Dave Atsals, than anything else. He brings LD to a whole new level. LD + comes to mind, or maybe Uber LD, or even LD² perhaps. He’s certainly our special little helper.