Heaven—Isn’t the timing more than a little suspicious?  Think about it; Obama backs deep sea drilling and, boom, a few weeks later gazillions of gallons of crude oil spews into the Gulf of Mexico.  Obama then backs nuclear energy and boom, splash, Japan’s nuclear incident occurs at Fukushima. 

God told our own Cokie McGrath, “If Obama start promoting ‘clean’ coal, I already have that covered as well.”

God plans to burn the entire state of Kentucky by setting all its coal mines ablaze at once in something he is calling his ‘Shock and Ore’ campaign.

“In 2011, if you’re still talking only about the big three: nuclear, coal, and oil, it’s go time, bitches,” said God.

God also admitted to McGrath, global warming doesn’t pose a threat to human life anytime soon.

“But plans have changed,” added God. “Climate change wouldn’t have become deadly for another thousand years or so, but it’s time to turn this cosmic crockpot up notch.”

God then entered his 2010 Prius, with venti mocha macchiato frappe in hand, and may have either waved  goodbye out of the car window or flipped the press the bird.

“We’re sure it was one of the two,” said McGrath