Fort Wayne, IN—Sarah Palin is in custody tonight after allegedly leaving her One Nation tour bus running outside of an Indiana bar, The Brass Rail, yesterday afternoon. Her three youngest children and several pets were left in the parked bus in near 90° heat for a two hour period. Palin repudiates claims the time coincided with the bar’s happy hour.
“Nonsense, the first few rounds were full price,” said Palin. “There was nothing happy about it.”
The Palin’s were seen entering the Rail at 4:00 PM and police arrived just before 6:00 PM after several bar regulars reported, “There’s a big F’n bus blocking me from my F’n beer.”
Police apprehended Sarah and Todd after they returned to the bus to do shots with all of the establishment’s pool and dart league members.
“American shots,” said Palin, “distilled in American breweries!”
Distillery Clinton was unavailable for comment.