Horror Author Michael D. Griffiths a Zombie?

Horror Author Michael D. Griffiths a Zombie?
Alex Bone

Collapsing Shack, AZ—In a story stranger than even his own dark twisted mind could imagine, Zombie fiction author Michael D. Griffiths has admitted to being a zombie. This has not only shocked his four loyal fans, but has sky-rocketed his Eternal Aftermath book sales to the point of clearing his advance for the first time ever…mostly.

I caught up with MDG while he was finishing off other patrons’ abandoned drinks inside the Zane Grey Ballroom in Flagstaff, AZ.

AB: “So Mr. Griffiths, when did you first realize you were a zombie?”

MDG: “I had been drinking a lot and wasn’t quiet feeling myself or like a young Bill Murray meets Spaghetti Western Clint Eastwood, which is what I usually feel like (High Brains Drifter joke omitted for space’s sake). Then I was a little broke after trying to buy my way into Zano’s exclusive semiannual Lesbians only theme party…I didn’t have enough cash to get a sloppy burger, so I ate this hippy’s brain. It was good. I ate the rest of him and what I couldn’t finish I took home for sandwiches…manwiches, really.”

AB: “Has being a zombie been rough on you?”

MDG: “Yeah, it’s hard on my love life. I keep trying to eat my wife, but not in the traditional sense. She has told me that she will be staying with her mother, ‘until I grow out of this.’ She thinks it’s a phase.”

AB: “Has becoming a zombie helped you with your writing?”

MDG: “Yes and no. I can connect and channel my villains better, but last week I ate one of my publishers. So it looks like Raiders of the Lost Entrails, won’t be coming out for a while.”

AB: “I think our readers will be upset if I don’t ask you why you think you’re a zombie. For instance, zombies rarely talk, and their fiction is pretty boring. Maybe you’re just a cannibal.”

MDG: “Would I dress like this if I wasn’t a zombie? I mean come on. Old t-shirts and dirty jeans? I’m a ‘professional’ after all. Also, I haven’t bathed for several weeks now…explain that? I must be a zombie. I also have been getting this strange desire to watch Fox News.”

AB: “Oh Fox News…sorry I doubted you. Thanks for the interview and be sure to rush out and grab Mr. Griffiths’ newest zombie novel, Eternal Aftermath. Hey. Let go of my arm. AHhHhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Note: Mr. Bone has not returned to the Discord headquarters since he emailed us this story and is now currently missing and believed eaten (MBE).

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Alex Bone

Alex Bone

Alex Bone (Michael D. Griffiths) is a man who likes to keep busy, too bad it mostly involves cleaning squirrels. In the past, his writing has been published in numerous periodicals and anthologies sometimes even published by someone else. He was awarded first place in Withersin’s 666 contest, which he was told will later give him the Golden Ticket tour of the third plane of Hell. He is on the staff of The Daily Discord, Cyberwizard Productions, SFReader, and on the Board of Directors for the Society of Advanced Humans that Seek to Live as Viking Ninjas. His series The Chronicles of Jack Primus is available through Living Dead Press. After being bitten by a zombie, his attentions have turned toward the walking dead and he has begun a new Zombie Apocalypse series called the Eternal Aftermath. When he discovered that he was a cloned from Eric the Red’s DNA, he wrote the Science Fiction series Skinjumpers. Later while experimenting with strange fungus, he slipped into a Fantasy world ruled by the mad mage Dalsala Den.