Taos, NM—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Laundromat, fears that the surviving cast of the former hit television series, Taxi, is in grave danger. He believes someone on the set must have angered a voodoo priestess, a Wiccan warlock, or some other diabolical dabbler in the occult. Andy Kaufman, who played Latka thank-you-very-much Gravas died of a rare form of lung cancer in 1984. Back then Dr. Hogbein was only just beginning to contemplate the possibility of a Taxi curse. He thought about George Orwell’s book 1984 and Van Halen’s album of the same name. Eventually, he shrugged off his suspicions and continued his research on Midget Teeth Whittling.
“Conaway’s recent death made me sit up and take notice,” said Dr. Hogbein. “That’s not always easy when one considers my age and my blood alcohol content.”
After palling around with the likes of Gary Busy on recent episodes of Celebrity Rehab, Conaway died of complications involving the palling around with the likes of Gary Busy on recent episodes of Celebrity Rehab.
Dr. Hogbein estimates that, at the current rate of two actors per 26 years, the entire cast of Taxi will be dead within 104 years.
“This is a conservative estimate,” added Dr. Hogbein. “Sometimes there are synchronicities and serendipitous occurrences that actually defy mere chance—like that night in Vegas when I both won money and got laid. The Taxi curse is kind of like that for me…er, minus the money and the sex, of course.”