Obama Refuses to Dismantle Bush’s All Seeing Eye

Washington, DC—President Obama told reporters this Tuesday, “The eye stays put.”  Obama insists his decision to keep the All Seeing Eye, currently mounted atop the Washington Monument, is not an attempt to maintain Bush-like levels of executive power.  The President adamantly denied allegations that the office has changed him.  He went on to dodge questions about using fear to push policy, his continued use of earmarks and signing statements, as well as his complete refusal to investigate the previous administration on any front.  President Obama then assured the press that he would only send armies of orcs and goblins to get the “bad guys who mean us harm.”  The change in the President’s demeanor has drawn harsh criticism from both Democrats and Republicans alike.  Some fear Obama may be unwilling to hurl the One Ring into the Fires of Mount Doom at the end of his term.  Obama received the One Ring only after it was bitten from, then Vice President, Dick Cheney’s finger by Rahm Emmanuel on Inauguration Day.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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