Mothman Found Dead!

Mothman Found Dead!

Point Pleasant, WV—The creature that terrorized a small West Virginia town in the late sixties was pronounced dead this morning by local entomologists.  Apparently, this legendary winged monster finally met its match after flying repeatedly into a porch light in front a residence on Jones Street.  Authorities say Mothman did not die on that porch, but managed to flap over to his west side apartment, where he posted his farewells on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Mman7
Mman7 Moth Man
I’m like, OUCH, don’t do that again, OUCH, don’t do that again, OUCH!! BWTF!!!
6 seconds ago

 

Mothman’s last Facebook session involved ‘unfriending’ Bigfoot and then telling his Facebook fans, “I only regret not being able to scare the shit out of and/or maul the lot of you!”

He also blamed the lack of recent Mothman sightings on misidentifications.

“People always think I’m the Jersey Devil, or Batman, or something.  ‘Hey look, Batman.’  Hell-oo!  This isn’t Jersey and it certainly aint Gotham-friggin’-City, lady!  I’m a moth!  I’ve even tried stalking that Monster Quest team for months, but those morons couldn’t even find a Megaladon if it swam up and bit em’ on the ass.”

Mothra and the surviving members of the band, Iron Butterfly, attended the funeral, but left shortly after the Lochness Monster arrived, quite intoxicated.

“It kept saying the same joke all night,” said Mothra.  “Take my wife, plesiosaur.  What does that even mean?”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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