The “Media Research” Center

Mick Zano

I love picking on the Media Research Center (MRC). I chose not to put mock quotes around the word “center”, because they are the center…of insanity. I am a subscriber so I never miss one compelling post from the heart of the paranoia realms. For me the MRC, headed by Brent Bozell, equates to endless hours of free entertainment. Yeah, this is one media watchdog group that should probably be put down as rabid.

Anyway, let’s begin:

“From the Fast and Furious gun-running scandal to the murder of four American diplomats in Benghazi, to the Obama Administration’s disastrous economic policies and war on religious liberty, the liberal media have orchestrated an intricate censorship campaign designed to keep Americans in the dark about the most pressing issues facing our nation.”

—Brent Bozell, The “Media Research” Center

Brent Bozell

Mock Interview Alert (MIA):

(aka, the translation)

Bozo: From the Fast and Furious gun-running scandal to the murder of four American diplomats in Benghazi—

Zano: —also known as What compelled Bush to start such a program? to Why did the GOP block security funding for our embassies? Granted, I don’t think these are exactly feathers in Obama’s cap, but they would certainly be listed as achievements in the Bush Library (hint: they’re a little desperate for some. Hey, but I did find the Enhanced Interrogation Wing (glub, glub, glub) a little watered down. In fact, I can hear Ari Fleischer now, “Giving guns to Mexican cartels saved countless American lives.”)

Bozo: —to the Obama Administration’s disastrous economic policies!

Zano: Sorry, call me liberal, but I prefer a slow recovery to a depression (Hint: disastrous economic policies tend to happen before any given global economic meltdown). This is the new norm, as I predicted way back when, here.

“Clearly a second Obama term will be no picnic. Unemployment will remain high for years to come.”

—Mick Zano

The GOP really thinks that by cutting the shit out of everything, all at once, we will create jobs. Operation Job Creation Via Layoffs (OJCVL). Sure some cuts have to happen, but there’s no precedent for job creation during a recession through austerity measures only (see: Europe…in fact, see: Earth history).

Did you know the Right is trying to use the European “recovery” as an example of why they are on sound economic ground? In downtown L.A. I think there’s mastodon on the corner of La Brea and Wilshire familiar with such firmness.

Bozo: (the rant continues) —and (Obama’s) war on religious liberty!

Zano: Bullshit. There are a few people at the ACLU who need to take a chill pill, for sure, but they act as the only fodder for the Right on this topic. I wish the ACLU would stop their inane crusade. Hint: if you are on the wrong side of a Fox News argument, disband. Maybe it’s time to start the National Civil Liberties Union? We need an entity that focuses on shit that actually matters to our civil liberties, not pursue pointless crusades—that’s Bill O’Reilly’s job. I agree with Fox News types on 1 out of 10 issues, but this is one of them: the ACLU, in its current form, is a waste of tax payer’s money.

Meanwhile, in an effort to usurp Michael Moore, Michael Bloomberg has snatched the liberal coo coo crown (LCCC). That’s the difference. Libs tend to identify their coo coos and ostracize them accordingly, while the Right perpetually promotes and coronates their least insightful. It’s why they keep descending into the abyss of propagandic wrongness. Not to be confused with the Pit of Despair, the Fiscal Cliffs of Insanity, or the Gorge of Eternal Politicism.

Look, this country was founded on religious freedom, so relax rightwing peeps. No one is going to stop you from being less insightful than the rest of us, or even stop you from packing heat for that matter. Granted, there are some liberals who would disarm us outright. I do not agree with this premise. There are far too many Republicans around for that.

Unfortunately for the believers in this country, we are entering the Age of Atheism. I’m sure just coining that phrase gave Richard Dawkins a woody. This new age is going to slap religion around a bit, for sure, but it’s okay…religion likes it (see: The Inquisition or Sado Messiahcism). This period brings with it both great opportunity and great peril, much like any Discord barcrawl.

But don’t worry. If your faith is strong, you’ll still make it to Nirvana, Heaven, or the Happy Hunting Grounds or wherever your spiritual afterlife flights are currently booked (please return your snack prays to their full uptight positions). Meanwhile, on the flipside, many find fundamental religious views repulsive—thus the ACLU’s crusade and the rise of scientism. At the mention of the word scientism, I’m afraid Mr. Dawkins is suddenly having some blood flow issues.

Sorry for the tangent, back to Bozo the Frown:

Brent Bozo: The liberal media have orchestrated an intricate censorship campaign designed to keep Americans in the dark about the most pressing issues facing our nation.

Zano: Umm, how do I say this judiciously?

Dear GOP,

You can’t make up issues and then wonder why people aren’t covering them.



I believe the most pressing issue facing our nation is your list of concerns facing our nation, Mr. Bozell. Your only relevant concern involves our broken economy, but you take no responsibility for your part in it. I watched you on Fox News over the years, Mr. Bozell, making mistake after mistake. There’s blood on your hands and culpability for Bush’s spending spree. Start there please, before you lecture anyone about anything.

Whereas my fears, ranging from Monsanto to Climate Change, are going to someday have huge implications for mankind, your issues will be footnotes that will only trigger mucho brow furrowing (MBF). Our world is struggling at the moment for reasons that will never resonate with your ilk. The GOP’s paranoid reinterpretation of my reality is what I find so disconcerting—next Twilight movie release disconcerting. Notice there’s no talk of drones in Bozell’s rant. My take on one of the only relevant Obama scandals here.

So here’s where you can sign The Media Research Center’s petition to Stop Censoring the News and here’s where you can back the Discord’s initiative for the GOP to Stop Making Shit Up. Yeah, that link only brings you back to our homepage, but, as it turns out, a spoof new site on the Left has way more credibility than anything the Right (see: The Maher/Stewart phenomenon). I for one think that’s a problem. The bigger problem?  The Right doesn’t seem to think that’s a problem.

Of course Mr. Bozell endorsed Hagel’s ridiculous grilling during his Secretary of Defense nomination. Bozell and others felt due to Iran’s support for Hagel that he is nothing shy of a Muslim Brotherhood supporter. Here’s the actual quote from Iran’s defense minister at the heart of the controversy:

“We hope there will be practical changes in American foreign policy and that Washington becomes respectful of the rights of nations”

Ramin Mehmanparast

Make sense? Well, more than anything Bozell said thus far. I am not siding with Iran, I just don’t think we need to be less insightful than a batshit theocracy—nor do we need to become one. Someone’s Tweet on the Hagel debacle said it best:

“The GOP asked all the wrong questions, and Hagel avoided all the right questions.”

Hagel had to dance between realities. Our Secretary of Defense needed to acknowledge a fantasy world, created by the GOP and perpetuated by Fox News, before he could assume command. It was painful to watch.  I am no foreign policy expert, but I am light years ahead of our GOP on almost any given foreign policy topic. I’m not okay with that.

But as for the silver lining:

“I see Hagel’s nomination as the natural evolution of Obama’s slow but relentless shift of US foreign policy from neoconservative dogma to conservative pragmatism (with a few small splotches of idealism). Of course, the neocon fanatics are threatened. As history unfolds, their catastrophic ideology will come to seem the temporary and horrifying exception, not the new rule. And when a member of their own party helps advance their consignment to the dustbin of failed ideologies, you can see why they are having a conniption.”

—Andrew Sullivan

In the GOP’s defense, I understand they are constantly bombarded with information that supports their imaginary worldview. It happens on the Left as well, just not to the same depths and degree…er, and I can tell when the libs are blowing smoke. I just feel the Right’s attacks on the Left are based on a different focus, ideology, and set of values. But with the Right, I am not only questioning their ideology but also their methodology. Nothing is based on anything but lies and/or hatred:

Rachel Maddow = opinion & facts

Sean Hannity = opinion & lies

For today’s Republican it must be kind of like living in North Korea, minus all the valid information.

Yet some remain hopeful:

“Well, now it’s happening to our house, and it is we who are being tested: Do we dare confront our own radicals? It’s not enough to have greater wisdom, greater tolerance, and greater patriotism if you don’t also muster courage, endurance, and will to win.”

—David Frum

As I’ve been saying all along, calling out the batshit aspects of the GOP would go a long way to reform…er, but unfortunately that includes everyone but David Frum. He’s been echoing my concerns as of late. Here’s his latest over at the Beast, Why the Rush to Sell Gold Coins is Drowning Out Real Critiques of Obama. If you want to know where Obama is really messing up, put down the clown horn, get Bachmann back on her meds, turn off Fox News, and start reading folks like David Frum.

Even Red State is starting to get it:

“Conservatives must start telling stories, not just producing white papers and peddling daily outrage.  The stories we choose to tell should have all the information we need to be informed of facts and paint a picture of those facts’ impact.”

– Erick Erickson

Of course as it relates to the GOP you can take out the word intellectual, or as I put it in a recent joke:

GOP Denies Collapse Of "Conservative Intelligentsia"
GOP Denies Collapse Of "Conservative Intelligentsia", "Hell, we don't even know what that means"
"Hell, we don’t even know what that means"

Intelligentisa was from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?

And I’ll wrap this post up with some classic Harris:

“The Internet powerfully enables the spread of good ideas, but it works the same magic for bad ones—and it allows distortions of fact and opinion to become permanent features of our intellectual landscape.”

—Sam Harris

…but, again, you take out the word intellectual.

(Visited 136 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.