Obama Offers Free Pizza With Every Healthcare Enrollment

Obama Offers Free Pizza with every Healthcare Enrollment

Washington, DC—In conjunction with the Pizza Palace, President Obama is offering a free pizza with every successful Obamacare enrollment. In light of recent cuts to the food stamp program, many in and around the beltway are calling this a brilliant move.

“The same people who had their food stamps reduced last month could really use some free pizza about now,” said President Obama. “Their pain is our gain. If you enroll on the healthcare.gov website and your pizza doesn’t arrive within 30-minutes, your first year of healthcare is absolutely free!”

Republicans are already crying foul and pointing out a list of broken delivery promises.

The President countered, “Some may qualify for a free 2-liter bottle of soda with your healthcare package, but I’m not giving out west wing wild wings, or stuffed catastrophic crust plans, or free death panel deep dish pizzas. Republicans are just making shit up again. But, if you call in the next hour, you can get some crazy behavioral health bread coverage at no additional charge.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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