Declare War Not Bankruptcy

Pete Christensen

Since America’s inception, bankers, businessmen, and other criminals have preyed upon the middle class as well as the uninformed, while lining their already bulging pockets. I don’t advise anyone to climb into the same sewer these scumbags inhabit—no, I’m not talking about Discord headquarters—but there’s no reason you shouldn’t be educated enough to fight back. Don’t declare bankruptcy before reading this post!

Bankruptcy was meant to be a way to keep communities together through forgiveness. In the Old Testament the practice of excusing all debt every eight years was known as “Jubilee”. The Daily Discord’s Jubilee is a very different beast and is thankfully not mentioned in the Old Testament.

Abraham Lincoln, Jack Nicklaus, David Crosby, The Baltimore Opera Company, Mets outfielder Lenny Dykstra, Billy Joel, and Opera Singer Dorothy Dandridge have all declared bankruptcy. The rich have always used it as a means to keep their savings, rather than pay off their debts.

In today’s society there’s no reason to do so. The stigma stays with you for a full decade—

[Discord contributor stigma joke removed by the editor.]

Every time you apply for a job this question will be asked. And, it will keep you from getting any state or federal position where you might be compromised by debt. Going to a debt-consolidation company for protection is an even worse idea. This is regarded equal to a bankruptcy in status, but unlike chapter 13 you still have to pay the money back.

In most states if you can simply avoid your creditors for four full years, your debt is erased. That’s right, just don’t allow any creditors to get a judgment against you during that time period, and Kazakhstan is wonderful this time of year. Putin likes that country so he’s unlikely to invade anytime soon.

Once a judgment occurs, they can garnish your wages and you’ll never keep a job. Thus my need to become a freelance blogger. How’s that for a stimulus package?

Creditors can call you endlessly, mail you items, threaten you over the phone, and even call your neighbors and tell them about your debt. But, if you continually answer the phone “Who‘s calling?” and “Where are you calling from?”, it’s easy to identify the debt collectors and tell them you’re not home. It may be a lot of fun to screw with them but, remember, the poor rube on the other end of the line is just some schnook trying to make a living himself.

Besides, four years of avoiding debt in Kazakhstan will fly by, unless, of course, Putin gets antsy. Eventually you will begin to get letters offering to settle for less and less every year as the debt gets sold to different collectors. Each one will be losing money by chasing you. You’ll watch as THEY become more desperate instead of YOU. Eventually, the calls and letters will stop, and you will get that chance at a fresh start. As the Bible says it was meant to be. Well, at least that’s the way I interpret it. But I really would avoid those Discord Jubilees; there’s something wrong with those people.

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