Pete Christensen

Mount Rushmore: What Went Right and Wrong

Mount Rushmore: What went Right and Wrong
Pete Christensen

Mount Rushmore was built on The Six Grandfathers Mountain of South Dakota on land stolen from the Lakota Sioux in the war of 1876 to 1877. The name was changed to “Rushmore” to honor a wealthy East Coast banker by Carrie Swancey, the sister of Laura Ingalls Wilder, who later went on to name Washington’s professional football team. Okay, strike that last part…

The monument was first proposed by Doane Robinson in 1923 to increase Black Hills tourism and to celebrate the first 150 years of North America’s history. If only they’d just gone with my idea of a nice parade.

The original sculptures were Guston Borglum and his understudy Korczak Ziolkowski. The initial idea was to honor five key people:

  1. Lewis and Clark (those who explored the West).
  2. Chief Joseph of the Nez Pierce (those who inhabited the West).
  3. Wild Bill Hickok (those who tamed the West), and:
  4. William F. Cody, also known as Buffalo Bill Wildwings (those who kept the Western spirit alive through the use of spicy sauces).

However, when President Coolidge got involved, he demanded the idea involve politicians (go figure). Borglum, who’d become famous by carving the Confederate Memorial on Stone Mountain, Georgia wasn’t really interested in the idea of a Native American sculpture, an idea championed by his partner Ziolkowski.

In 1925 Borglum settled on an immense figure of a young George Washington in a three cornered hat. Funding ran out so they considered a two cornered hat for a time. To avoid controversy, and secure funding, Coolidge insisted on two democrats and another Republican joining Washington.

Several times attempts were made in congress to add figures to Jefferson, Roosevelt, Washington, and Jackson, who were eventually told they should watch their own figures. These other proposals ranged from Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and astronaut Neil Armstrong. All were defeated, so in 2010 The Daily Discord nominated Rush Limbaugh and rock singer, Geddy Lee, but only because they were trying to be clever.

Despite a public outcry to add Susan B. Anthony in 1937, the project went forward as planned. Ziolkowski left the project when partially completed, as some claim Teddy Roosevelt’s chin frustrated him greatly.

The state of South Dakota has made millions from Mount Rushmore. The Sioux nation has sued for one-tenth of one, one hundredth percent of the money earned from “Black Hills Gold‟. They’ve repeatedly been defeated in both state and federal courts. Not because they’re wrong, but because reparations on this large a scale is a slippery slope, one the United States can’t afford to get involved in. Instead, a portion of all proceeds from Mt. Rushmore tourism should be awarded to the Sioux Nation, to be used strictly for education and job development.

In 1939, at the request of Chief Henry Standing Bear, Ziolkowski began work on the Crazy Horse Monument. Crazy Horse never had his picture taken. His image is depicted purely from spoken descriptions and folklore. He was stabbed in the back by Army scout Little Big Man and died shortly after. The army buried the Oglala Sioux leader in a deliberately hidden grave.

Despite twice being offered ten million dollars by the federal government to complete the project, the family has refused. It should take another thirty years to complete this project and it will be eight times bigger than Mt. Rushmore once complete. It will be indisputably the largest sculpture in the entire world.

Give Them Exactly What They Deserve

Pete Christensen

Despite the federal government asking for a moratorium on home foreclosures for the good of the national economy, recent figures paint a grim picture for the middle class. Please read this before you consider foreclosure! Oh, and please consider reading only this article as these guys are a little…well, you know.

341,000 new foreclosures were issued recently. Foreclosure auctions have risen by 35%. That’s one in every 159 homes. Those figures are up 49% from the same month last year, and up a whopping 111% from 2008! That’s worse than the Ghetto Shaman’s bar tab.

In Arizona, where the housing market is one of the worst in the nation, one in every 54 homes are in foreclosure. 49,000 homes were foreclosed on in the first quarter alone, even more if you can’t add. At that rate, almost a quarter of a million families could lose their homes annually. How long can any state absorb that financial loss?

The banks however are profiting from this tragedy. In this buyers market, since the federal bailouts, the majority of their losses have been effectively covered. Now as they foreclose on properties, they have whatever payments were made plus profit from the sale.

Once the foreclosure’s complete, the bank has ruined one person’s credit, while improving the credit and standing of the new buyer. This transfers money and power from the new middle class to the old money, aka our firmly entrenched upper middle class.

There’s little the average person can do to fight back in this situation. In most cases, people just want to protect themselves. That’s not always possible either. Legislators (mostly wealthy lawyers and bankers) have stacked the deck against you.

You can however, legally make every last dime off your property, just as the bank plans to do. You need to act when you know you’re going to lose the property, but BEFORE it goes into actual foreclosure. You should start to literally gut the entire home of everything of value in it. Gut everything, from the copper plumbing pipes, to every bit of electrical wiring. Rip out the flooring and the drywall, but don’t haul it away. Leave that expense to the bank. However, be careful not to flood the property, unless it’s already on fire, in which case the flooding might actually help.

Also, remove every window and door. Sell them, or donate them to a charity like ‘Habitat for Humanity’. You have every right to do this because you haven’t been foreclosed on yet. You still own it. Take everything out of the yard, including plants, hot tubs, swing sets, even dog houses. The idea here is to reduce the property value as much as humanly possible. Even leave some of the other Discord contributors on your couches. This will also hurt the banks.

Before leaving some people have such resentment, they’ve reverted to defecating on the floor and spray painting obscenities on the walls…kind of like last year’s Discord Christmas party. There’s no need to do this. By stripping out the property of all its value, the bank is forced to invest thousands of dollars before they can make a profit. If everyone of the thousands of foreclosed families were to do this, the banks would be forced to stop taking advantage of the American people.

There’s also a much easier, but illegal method. This only works if you have an older home. Strip the rubber off the electrical wires to an old lamp, plug it in, and leave for the weekend. Make sure you visit an out of town relative who’ll provide an alibi. You’ll lose everything you own, but you’ll actually make money. Even if you’re upside down on your home, you’ll at least make money off your lost belongings. Because this is illegal, I can’t and won’t suggest it. The Daily Discord will though, because the’re unscrupulous and one more lawsuit probably won’t bother them.

Declare War Not Bankruptcy

Pete Christensen

Since America’s inception, bankers, businessmen, and other criminals have preyed upon the middle class as well as the uninformed, while lining their already bulging pockets. I don’t advise anyone to climb into the same sewer these scumbags inhabit—no, I’m not talking about Discord headquarters—but there’s no reason you shouldn’t be educated enough to fight back. Don’t declare bankruptcy before reading this post!

Bankruptcy was meant to be a way to keep communities together through forgiveness. In the Old Testament the practice of excusing all debt every eight years was known as “Jubilee”. The Daily Discord’s Jubilee is a very different beast and is thankfully not mentioned in the Old Testament.

Abraham Lincoln, Jack Nicklaus, David Crosby, The Baltimore Opera Company, Mets outfielder Lenny Dykstra, Billy Joel, and Opera Singer Dorothy Dandridge have all declared bankruptcy. The rich have always used it as a means to keep their savings, rather than pay off their debts.

In today’s society there’s no reason to do so. The stigma stays with you for a full decade—

[Discord contributor stigma joke removed by the editor.]

Every time you apply for a job this question will be asked. And, it will keep you from getting any state or federal position where you might be compromised by debt. Going to a debt-consolidation company for protection is an even worse idea. This is regarded equal to a bankruptcy in status, but unlike chapter 13 you still have to pay the money back.

In most states if you can simply avoid your creditors for four full years, your debt is erased. That’s right, just don’t allow any creditors to get a judgment against you during that time period, and Kazakhstan is wonderful this time of year. Putin likes that country so he’s unlikely to invade anytime soon.

Once a judgment occurs, they can garnish your wages and you’ll never keep a job. Thus my need to become a freelance blogger. How’s that for a stimulus package?

Creditors can call you endlessly, mail you items, threaten you over the phone, and even call your neighbors and tell them about your debt. But, if you continually answer the phone “Who‘s calling?” and “Where are you calling from?”, it’s easy to identify the debt collectors and tell them you’re not home. It may be a lot of fun to screw with them but, remember, the poor rube on the other end of the line is just some schnook trying to make a living himself.

Besides, four years of avoiding debt in Kazakhstan will fly by, unless, of course, Putin gets antsy. Eventually you will begin to get letters offering to settle for less and less every year as the debt gets sold to different collectors. Each one will be losing money by chasing you. You’ll watch as THEY become more desperate instead of YOU. Eventually, the calls and letters will stop, and you will get that chance at a fresh start. As the Bible says it was meant to be. Well, at least that’s the way I interpret it. But I really would avoid those Discord Jubilees; there’s something wrong with those people.