Republicans, Democrats to Swap Symbology

Pierce Winslow

Ever since the 1870’s cartoons of Thomas Nast the donkey has graphically represented the Democratic party while the elephant has symbolized the Republicans. In a bold move, the RNC and DNC recently announced that they will be switching their iconic beastiality. The annoncement was made at a recent joint news conference.

Vermont Governor Howard Dean, chairman of the DNC stated “In recent years the Democrats have been all about big government and the Republicans have been asses. It just seemed appropriate that we reassign the ass to the Republicans and the elephant to symbolize the Democrats.”

The very elephantic Dennis Hastert

Mike Duncan, chairman of the RNC added “What really clinched it was the addition of Joe “Big Speech” Biden to the Democratic ticket, and of course, the selection of Sarah “Scripted Speech” Palin as John McCain’s running mate. If that wasn’t a classically assinine move by a long-time Republican ass I don’t know what was. It just works on so many levels.”

Not everyone is as enthused about the switch as Duncan and Dean (D&D).

“I don’t see the need for the change. I rather relate to the elephant.” remarked the very elephantic former Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert. “And I’ll have the Colossal Thickburger, large fries and chocolate shake. What do you mean ‘there’s no lunch at this interview’?”

From the other side, Democratic Senator John Kerry was quoted as saying “I actually did vote for it, before I voted against it”. While it’s not certain what he meant by that, we at the Discord believe that Senator Kerry thought that the ass was an appropriate symbol for himself.

(Visited 57 times, 1 visits today)
dailyDiscor

Pierce Winslow

Pierce Winslow is the Discord's Brain, Chief Engineer and C.E.O. He co-founded the Discord along with Mick Zano in 2008 and they have both been sorry ever since. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *