Dems Distance Themselves Further From Strengthening Economy

Dems Distance Themselves Further from Strengthening Economy

Washington, DC—The last two quarters marked the strongest six months of economic growth in over a decade. The news could not have come at a worse time as Democrats are already struggling with a new wave of Obamacare enrollments as well as an unemployment rate plummeting below 6%.

“This could not have come at a worse time,” said Democratic Strategist Hilary Rosen. “Don’t you read the narrative?”

The President dodged questions today about the wave of positive economic indicators that continue to plague his administration and his policies. “Sure there is plenty of positive economic news, but I would rather talk about Ferguson, or ISIS or that salute I did with that coffee in my hand. Remember that?”

The press demanded answers. The President told reporters, “I would like to remind everyone that the president has little to do with soaring stock markets and falling gas prices. That could happen to anyone, and has…uh, just not to Republicans much. Sure we have the strongest recovery in the west, but what about the south, or the frozen north. What about Greenland, Antarctica, or that place where they filmed Arctic Blue? They could all be doing better for all we know.”

Senator Al Franken of SNL said, “Look, strong economic news cannot be totally laid at the feet of Democrats. The inaction of Republicans, who, I remind you, did absolutely nothing in the last six years, may have actually contributed to this successful period through a prophetic brand of tactical inaction. Although, at first glance, it’s tough to see how.”

Republicans continued to bludgeon the President on issues of increased oil production and historically low interest rates. Overwhelmed, Obama stormed out of the press conference, visibly shaken. A close aid to Obama admitted the President hopes that “by invading Bucharest for no reason and then gutting Medicare, he may yet save his legacy.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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