Flagstaff, AZ—Mick Zano of The Daily Discord.com has hacked into Seth Rogen’s personal email. He is now threatening to release sensitive personal information unless Rogen adds at least ten funny jokes to his movie, The Interview, or he will “not even watch it on Netflix.” To show he means business, Zano stated he has firm evidence from the acquired emails that Rogen “smokes pot while working.”
Mr. Zano’s list of demands are as follows:
Seriously, Seth, I have enough information on you to write an autobiography but, upon reading all of your emails, I don’t want to. Here are my demands, in no particular order:
1. You need to read the script I sent you entitled Search Truth Quest: Schlock Ness Monster.
2. You need to accept the above manuscript instead of another #$%^ing rejection letter!
3. Make the fuzzed-out part over your groin larger in your recent Naked and Afraid episode.
4. I want one interview for TheDailyDiscord.com. Skype is fine, but you can’t phone this one in Seth! Not this time!
5. I want some of that pot.
6. I would have more demands but I’m already smoking pot.
P.S. This doesn’t work, Seth! It’s not funny! Oh, and chips. I want some chips…your choice.
Oh, and I know what you and Franco did last summer and what you did at the Christmas party. Feel naked and afraid, Rogen, naked and afraid.