iTit Set to Perk up Winter Sales

iTit Set to Perk up Winter Sales

Apple does it again. Today Apple announced the successful development of a breast implant that can both store and play music.  The iTit only costs $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. The surgery to install the device is not included, but talk about Silicon Valley!  And here’s the best part, guys—just hitting the play button will get you great music and to second base.  This is also being considered a major social breakthrough, because women have always complained how men stare at their breasts but don’t listen to them.  That problem ends today!  You may also choose to listen to NPR (Nipple Public Radio) to stay abreast of the situation. And, tuning into the right station has never been more fun.

But wait, there’s more!

If you order now, we’ll throw in the second iTit free! The item does come with a manufacture’s warning: there is a slight risk of suffocation when using the surround sound feature, but, hey, if you gotta go… 

Batteries not included and void where probhibitit.  Yes, we used that joke again. Apparently, they come in pairs.  Apple did have some bad news today.  Their latest line of booty-mounted smart phones, the Dingleberry, only comes in brown. (Hat tip: Tommy T.) 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

  1 comment for “iTit Set to Perk up Winter Sales

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