SpankenCranken

Mick Zano

Goomis, Goomis, Goomis. Not all of life’s lessons can be explained by Star Trek episodes.  Besides, it’s much more like the one when the shuttle crash-lands on that planet, only to be assailed by large rock-hurling giants. (Although, I’m not exactly sure why it’s like that.)

This is going to come as a shock to many of you, but I suffer from Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS). Fear not, fair reader, for slowly my world will return to normal now that there is some semblance of leadership in the White House. And by normal, I mean, of course: no home, no job, no retirement, and no food. I’m going to miss the American way of life. Give me some time to mourn, for Pete’s sake!  Haven’t you ever heard of the five stages of the grieving process?  Perhaps this recent example will help:

  • Denial (He’s a Yale man and his dad was kind of sharp…)
  • Anger (Torture! The Constitution! The Bill of Rights! The Justice Department!)
  • Bargaining (If I vote straight Dems for the midterms, maybe impeachment…)
  • Depression (Well, Canada has hockey and beer…)
  • Acceptance (Hey, Canada has hockey and beer!)

What confounds me is your endless vitriol aimed at anyone expressing a perspective. Whereas I direct my ire toward a group of individuals responsible for breaking the country—spiritually, morally, and otherwise—your ire involves an ideology: some quasi-nebulous possibility that certain educated tree-hugging types might be bad for our country. Are all educated people indoctrinated by crazed liberal-leaning professors, or is there something more sinister at work here? All of the people you are so angry with have a valid and noble perspective. Pollution = bad; constitution = good; destroying the rain forest = bad; peace = good; dependence on foreign oil = bad; nationalism = good; but too much nationalism = bad. And, most importantly, torture = bad (unless a safe word is first agreed upon).

For the most part, FOX News is not conservative—it’s ridiculous. Not the whole thing, mind you, but FOX-ers generally champion the shittier parts of the fundamentalism (amber) and entrepreneurial (orange) realms. The shadow side of this perspective has led us into a blind alley that some of us refer to as 2009.  I understand what Wilber now designates as “amber” and “orange” have to offer; but they, on the other hand, are missing the 800-pound gorilla in the room: themselves.  Some posit that liberalism may hold even greater dangers. This is where we need the Sean Hannitys and Pokey McDoorises and, yes, even the Crank Manifestos of the world.

Higher perspectives understand and appreciate more perspectives. This color coding is not meant to demean. It’s hologarchial by design (which means nested), not hierarchical.  It’s not a contest.  There are important aspects of each perspective, but there are also heaping piles of horseshit in each perspective.  My view is that FOX News represents the sicker parts of amber/orange, just as Michael Moore arguably represents the sicker parts of green, and the Daily Discord represents the sicker parts of lower integral (so you’re in good company).

Ken Wilber asserts that integral practice involves improving one’s ability to understand more and more ‘nuanced’ perspectives.  You claim I am the flipside of Sean Hannity? I assert that Keith Olbermann is the flipside of Sean Hannity, which is why I critiqued Mr. Olbermann so harshly in a recent article. You are way too liberal with what, and whom, you define as liberal. Integral thinkers will go where the truth leads them, avoiding ideology whenever possible. Many people lumping all higher perspectives as liberal and can’t see the rainforest for the trees.  This is usually done by picking one bad example from a given perspective and then trashing the whole paradigm.  There is surely a vast difference between the Dalai Lama’s fundamentalism and Pat Robertson’s, right? 

Christopher Hitchens would just as soon ditch all fundamental thinking. While I agree most of it is problematic, at best, I think folks like the Dalai Lama have an important message for humanity.

Despite my Hannity insanity, I will defend his right to spew his propaganda.  If—or, more accurately, when—Obama backs the Fairness Doctrine, he will be hearing from the Discord. It is unconstitutional and, like most of Pelosi’s ideas, utter crap. And you should be annoyed about Obama’s “coronation,” but you should be more annoyed with the people who made a coronation a reality. You know, your guy.

Ultimately, my rants are part of the healing process.  Perhaps Charles Johnson’s interpretation of Mahasatipatthana sutra might help, wherein he suggests everyone should “dispassionately examine evidence, tame their minds, know where their thoughts have come from and be able to distinguish what in the mind is the product of past conditioning and received opinion (political ads and propaganda), what thoughts are genuinely their own, and what their desires might be projecting on reality.” 

The trick is to see important aspects from each perspective, in your case other than entrepreneurial (orange). One of the core principles of a more integral philosophy, as Ken Wilber asserts, is to “face our limitations and learn from them, rather than responding with defensiveness and denial.” There are inherent truths from each and every viewpoint, but the more skilled we get with these perspectives—each ever-increasing in complexity—the deeper the level of consciousness attained. In other words, fuck you.  ( :

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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