Mount Olympus—Apollo, the Roman God of the Sun, has taken responsibility for both the track of this week’s solar eclipse as well as the message it was meant to convey to all Americans. Apollo minced no words, “Up yours, United States! You have got to be the stupidest civilization we Olympians have ever visited, and you have no idea how much we get around. We are like that Beach Boy’s song meets the Whore of Babylon. As I directed my fiery chariot behind the moon, I thought, let’s send these fools a message that even they can understand. Oh, and then I waved when I got over the D.C. area, because I knew Ass-Clown would probably look up.”
Tweet Tower—By all accounts President Trump’s joint press conference with the Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, really sucked. Many in the press equate the event to watching a librarian look on helplessly as a pack of baboons ransack the silent reading area. For starters Trump refused to shake the Chancellor’s hand. He then explained, “There’s a secret ‘real’ world leader handshake, uh, you’re not a man, right?” Then Mrs. Merkel stood by silently as President Trump attempted to explain the particulars of the Obama Administration’s wiretapping escapades. “This is what that Kenyan bastard did to both of us!” said Trump, waving around a tin cup on a string. “Our surveillance equipment is more sophisticated than this, but even with these cans you can hear every word I am saying to you, right now. Who knows, they might even already have cans capable of translating Germanese directly into tweets. Wouldn’t that make leading the free world a hell of a lot easier? #universaltweetlater.”
This rather extreme scenario, Bernie V Trump, may actually playout on the political stage. Granted, it may not go down exactly like the picture, but probably something pretty close. Folks are so disgusted with the establishment, we’re all fringing out. I fear liberals are moving too far ahead of today’s cultural psyche. We are not ready for a Bernie Sanders. Republicans are also too advanced…uh, were this the era when our oceans were dominated by those shelled squid-like things. Its amazing to me what the republican party has become, but what’s more amazing is how so few of them have seemed to notice.