Fast & Furious Organizers Selected to Arm Syrian Rebels

Fast & Furious Organizers Selected to Arm Syrian Rebels

Dem-mess-cuss, Syria—President Barack Obama is pleased to announce the organizers of his infamous Mexican gun-running program are slated to replace his Syrian Humanitarian Initiative Team. He now plans to directly arm the Syrian rebels and will support them as part of operation: How Assholes Pushed the President to Effin’ Nuke Syria.

Effectively immediately, Operation S.H.I.T. will be replaced by Operation H.A.P.P.E.N.S. The U.S. military will play a more direct military role: “Which has worked out so well in the past,” explained Obama. “When we start arming the Syrian rebels, I am confident these weapons will not fall into the wrong hands….um, or at least our agents on the Mexican border won’t be effected.”

Many on team Obama feel the decision to choose sides in a thousand year old Muslim religious conflict sounds like “great fun” and Vice President Joe Biden added, “What could possibly go wrong?”

Many are concerned this action will tank our still fragile economic recovery. President Obama told critics, “Look, I know this is a dumb idea, but domestic and international pressure demands I do something stupid.  If you want our foreign policy to start making sense, start deporting neocons. Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to put a muzzle on Bill Clinton once in a while.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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