50 Shades of Grey Crayons Are a Marketing Bust

50 Shades of Grey Crayons Are a Marketing Bust

Easton, PA—A marketing idea that started with a collaborative effort between the makers of Fifty Shades of Grey and Crayola Crayons has failed. Their idea seems to have collapsed on several levels. Parents and teachers complained about the S&M themed color names and the children soon got sick of only coloring storm clouds and castles.

The CEO of Crayola takes full responsibility for the business decision, “I really don’t know what we were thinking, but the original idea did come from our Denver branch. The mile high city, if you know what I mean. But I want people to know we’ve already pulled our Breaking Black and our Beauty and the Bestiality series. I just want people to know we’re taking this seriously.”

The story broke when a mother voiced her concerns to a principal outside of St. Louis Missouri. “I don’t think my child should be coloring with All of Grey’s Anatomy and Sex Slave Dungeon Wall Grey. Not to mention that one was way too light.”

The CEO of Crayola responded by saying, “Look, remember Bugs Bunny had jokes on different levels, you know, to keep the kids and the parents watching? Shit, we could have used that. Bugs Bunny grey, nice one. We really struggled with the names for the final 35—even with help from all the Denver people. I came up with Grey Goose Vodka Grey but they shot that one down. Dicks.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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