Pelosi to Oversee Obama’s Death Panels

Washington, DC – Rahm Emanuel met with Nancy Pelosi for several hours today behind closed doors.  At precisely 11:00 AM (EDT) the Obama Administration announced their decision to appoint the current Speaker of the House to the position of  U.S. Death Czar.

“Cheney got death squads, so we get death panels,” said Emanuel. “Fair is fair.”

Emanuel believes there is money to be saved by not insuring the chronologically challenged.  If enough Americans “opt” for their Democratically Imposed Early Demise (DIED), our Democratic overlords believe we can put this ‘great recession’ to sleep, so to speak.

These death panels could also have the extra added advantage of boosting supplies for Obama’s struggling Soylent Green program.

The Obama Administration is describing these death panels as a “win-win for Americans, particularly young healthy Americans.”

Pelosi states the process is simple, “At age fifty a doctor Kevorkian-type figure will arrive at your house and play a game with you, a game much like ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. Despite some of the misinformation, we are still very serious about members’ choices.  But for God’s sake, don’t pick rock!”

(Visited 101 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.