New York, NY—My Best Friend’s Girl is in custody at this hour after the passing of pop legend Ric Ocasek. The prime suspect in the death of the Cars lead singer, Candy O., told reporters today, “I’m Not The One. You Might Think I’m Crazy, but I’m not a Dangerous Type.” She then added, “It’s All Mixed Up and it has been Touch and Go, so I’m going for a Drive, because It’s All I Can Do.”

That’s all I got. I’m out of Cars songs. Sue me.

This just in, The Ocasek Foundation is suing The Daily Discord for slander.

Great …that’s Just What I Needed.