CyberSpace—Julian Assange has unleashed his next wave of devastation and this time it’s personal. His latest WikiLeaks dump reveals a bevy of unethical journalistic behavior over at the popular e-zine, The Daily Discord. The dump shows an epidemic of invented news events, fictitious sources, and fabricated letters to the editor.
“Bullshit!” responded CEO Pierce Winslow. “We don’t even have an editor. Assange is dead! Dead! I’ll bend him into a little stool pigeon pretzel and feed him to Dick Cheney. Well, a no-salt version, of course, due to our former VP’s blood pressure.”
When asked if there was any truth to the sea of allegations, Winslow said, “Hell no. I don’t think Assange used a condom for this one either, nor any lubricant.”
Winslow then released the hounds, the flying monkeys, and the seven plagues of Egypt, before issuing a dire warning, “Doesn’t Assange realize that finding out what the government is up to is just how Nazi Germany started?”