Would be Raptured Couple “Just Having Sex”

Would be Raptured Couple "Just Having Sex"

Granby, CT—When Ezra Walker found two sets of clothing by the tool shed Saturday evening, she was convinced the owner of said clothes were “taken by God.”

“I had mixed feelings at the time,” said Ezra.  “Happy for my daughter and her boyfriend but sad for me.  I mean, who would help me fend off the zombie hordes?  The good book says the people left behind would need to deal with all that SyFy Channel stuff.  Then I heard someone saying, ‘oh God, oh god, oh God’ over by the tool shed. I wasn’t sure if it was rapture related or Zombie related.  I picked up my shovel just in case.”

Ezra eventually figured out what had transpired upon entering the shed.  But the police report states “Mr. Walker used the shovel on the head of his daughter’s boyfriend ‘to kill the head…like in the movies.’”

(Visited 132 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.