Al Gore Releases More Ozone-Depleting Gases Into the Atmosphere

Al Gore Releases More Ozone-Depleting Gases into the Atmosphere

Secret Liberal Base—Al Gore laughed manically as he opened a giant valve located deep in his subterranean laboratory. Since losing his presidential bid in 2000, Gore has tried feverishly to prove global warming. In 2010 he attempted to cross dress, which he hoped might “heat things up a bit”, full story here.

Then in an effort to increase methane emissions he used his influence to improve the worldwide sale of beans. In 2011, however, Gore felt Operation: More Beans Mr. Tagert “stunk”, so he decided instead to melt all the North Pole’s ice with a giant hair dryer. This act had unintended consequences involving his placement on someone’s “naughty list”.

Now, in a chlorofluorocarbon (CFCs) factory somewhere deep under the Earth, Gore is pumping out endless waves of ozone depleting goodness into the stratosphere.

Researcher Johannes Laube said, “We don’t know where the new gases are emanating from but, if Mr. Gore is responsible, his secret base’s location is of the utmost importance to mankind! Along with my student loan debt, which remains very high.”

Real warming story here.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.