Malibu, CA—Actor and director Mel Gibson has finally admitted to the press that his depiction on the popular comedy show South Park is “dead on.” Gibson went on to explain that he really is the “crazy, ranty, racist nut job as seen on TV.” He admits he does wear Braveheart war paint around the house and he does, in fact, shit all over cartoon characters in an “eerily similar manner to those South Park episodes.”
Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Gun Shop, released this statement, “Gibson’s defecation depiction as seen on South Park may be something decidedly Freudian.”
Meanwhile, the Rant Warrior went on to say, “You’d better not print that, Winslow, or I’ll burn your fucking house down!”
God responded by saying, “Too late, asshole.”
In God’s defense please see God Responds to Daily Discord’s “Draw Muhammad Day”.
Local animated character, Eric Cartman said several things unfit for print and then blamed his inappropriateness on a scorching case of childhood Tourette’s syndrome.
His friend Kyle Broflovski had this to say, “Oh my god, they killed Kenny!” He then added, “you bastards,” for good measure.
Kenny was unavailable for comment. This may have been due to the fact his spine was protruding from his orange trench coat. For the record, Mel Gibson denies killing Kenny and also denies being one of “those bastards.”