Let’s Do the Time Warp Again

Mick Zano

It’s astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll. Before I go on this epic Pokey rant, as you noted in an email exchange, our views are ultimately not that dissimilar and yet there remains this ocean of difference in the delivery, the solutions, the priorities, the context, and the bigger picture. Why? You need more real fake news in your diet, my friend, and lay off that red meat.  Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for reality.

First, per an email exchange, I admit we’re all brainwashed to some degree, here, but there’s Brainwashed Lite and there’s Brainwashed Double Imperial Stout Reserve. I stand by my five-calorie assessment of myself. Your brainwashed ABV % suggests you shouldn’t legislate for another six election cycles. And please don’t gerrymander and drive.

You still support the Tea Party? My suggestions for this group were ignored, here.  I warned them to stay away from establishment republicans, yet they immediately aligned themselves with corporate America and the worst aspects of the Foxeteers. Now, as John Boehner recently put it, “They have lost all credibility.” Thus by standing by them, so have you. If you remember I had some sympathy for their Founding Fodder, Ron Paul, but no longer. Invoking the Palin-plan and turning politics into a reality show not based on reality isn’t helping—well, unless you can fit Congress into the back room of Hogs & Heifers.

[Lipstick on a pig joke removed by the editor]

Summary Alert:

Republicans greatly expanded executive power under Bush and then through an obstructionist only agenda (OOA) during the Obama presidency have essentially broken our system.

As per your last post, I agree parts of the ACA remain unconstitutional, which is why I initially had reservations about supporting this legislation. I said as much on this site here

But stay tuned, kids, for an important Zano-action-plan after this important rant:

Look Pokey, most folks now agree that going into Iraq, the way we did, was a huge mistake. Then eventually people said, wow, the Patriot Act was a bad idea, wasn’t it? Now in a recent email you are changing your mind on Climate Change (so did Ken Wilber, by the way, here). Fast forward and eventually you’ll agree how Citizens United wasn’t quite as cool as the packaging. Then we’ll hear, wow, why didn’t we switch to green energies sooner? Why did we support coal for so long? Breathing turned out to be as important as jobs. Who knew?  Yeah, well I don’t care at this point, we simply don’t have enough time left to babysit republicans.

As for your little Tea Party, Kansas went the most austerity route post Bush, cuts only, and it crippled them. Europe is recovering in the order of who went the least austerity-heavy forward, which was my prediction here. Why do you still ascribe to supply-side economics amidst the greatest disparity of wealth in a century? And your “sensible solution” is a flat tax which would only widen this disparity, here. One study suggests trickledown/supply side economics has never really worked anywhere on Earth ever, here. And yet here we all are, still trickling down all over the place. Yes, there are temporary monetary gains when you break unions and create ‘right to work’ states, until that day ends when we’re all working in the same sweatshop. When red states do well it’s predominately about the pools of oil and natural resources under their feet. Republicans aren’t the Rockefellers, they’re the fucking Clampetts.

GOP Hillbillies

And someday it will become evident that there’s no military-only solution in the Middle East. Last night I heard Bill O’Reilly say he wants General Patton to rise from the grave and wipe them all out. We battled for over a decade—your way, Bill—and what do we have to show for it? ISIS? The day General McChrystal said we have a presence in 1 out of 10 valleys in Afghanistan, 6 years in, I knew this whole thing was a fool’s errand. This is whack a mole.  Obama is correct to portray these conflicts in such terms. So you’re not brave, Bill, you’re a fool. There’s nothing else to call someone who ignores, not the lessons of history, but the lessons of last week.

These tribal types are not going to hold up their hands and surrender to Zombie Patton and then we all meet in Geneva to discuss the terms of their surrender. They will hide until we are broke. Get it? I don’t know what your suggestion is either, Pokey, but if you align yourself with Bill O‘ the Clown….

There are dozens of collapsing states across the globe and we’ve gotten nowhere trying to fix only two of them through large military campaigns. If there was a viable military solution I would back it, but it’s nothing more than a farce like everything else republican’s espouse. And the only thing—the only thing these dangerously incompetent boobs have noticed in the 21st century is the unconstitutional expansion of executive power that THEY made possible. Yes the Constitution is in jeopardy, Pokey, but you cannot have an Eric Holder without an Alberto Gonzalez and, yes, they’re both wrong which is why I have been very critical of them both. We disagree not on the problem, but on the solution. If there’s any chance of restoring the Constitution it will come post The GOP. Republicans will only support the Atlas Buggered types and your little Tea Party will bankrupt us in the name of Freedom. Both of these groups are incapable of competently championing any of these causes. Republicans have proven to be dangerously delusional, which is fine if you’re downtown arguing with a fire hydrant, but not so much if you’re running the largest economy and the largest military in the world.

Here’s the plan, Pokey.

Step 1: Through the Discord’s Get Out the Spoof efforts let’s ensure there’s a steady decrease in republican elected politicians (SDREP). I want the Zano Nation—all eleven of you—to vote D in the midterms. Remember, only one person in the country thought the Dems had even a chance to hang onto the Senate.

Step 2: Foster the emergence of a new viable conservative political party with principles NOT based on a delicate blend of false assumptions and bullshit. Tea Party need not apply. This is going to be the hard part as post the GOP collapse to come will further radicalize them, here. It will be important to support moderate republican voices during this transition.

Step 3: Finally, address the shit from your last post. These are valid concerns. I voiced similar concerns pre the ACA and also pre the War on Error. First, we must create a political atmosphere wherein reforms can actually take hold. For example, a healthy Republican Party could have focused on the individual mandate of the ACA instead of 427 meaningless attempts to repeal the entire law. They could have focused on the ratio of tax cuts to revenue instead of tax cuts only. Depressions suck and so do Republicans. They can and should be ignored. But until we have a viable 2nd party this places our rights and our future in jeopardy.

The rule of law will never be restored if we keep electing those biggest offenders, those who broke said rules in the first place, in power. Hell, I was never a super majority kind of guy, as it will likely bring with it a host of its own problems, but having seen the damage one political party has wrought in the 21st century, can we survive a temporary super majority? Yes We Can!

Dear Pokey,

Your constitutionalists only focus on the 2nd Amendment, yet they still manage to misinterpret it. Your economists believe in “voodoo” and you’re still fighting conventional wars against stateless fundamentalists for the benefit of Halliburton, not America.



P.S. Keep on torturing for Jesus and good luck with that next Benghazi hearing.


Meanwhile, close Guantanamo, the courts system works, Congress doesn’t. Back green energies, fuck coal. Keynesian economics works (sadly), trickle down doesn’t. I want a balanced budget too, let’s start with everything the republicans refuse to cut.  Science works, republican ideology doesn’t. Gerrymandering is a real problem, voter fraud is not. Investigate Bush’s War, not Benghazi.

Arguably the reddest state, Kansas, invariably votes for the Monsantos of the world—the ones who destroyed farming as we know it. Brilliant.  And Governor Brownback, the most austerity heavy republican of them all, busted the state’s economy so badly you can see the aftermath from flippin’ Oz.

I have suggested many things over the years and yet all my warnings have gone unheeded. What the hell have republicans warned us about? Ever? Any republican in America would immediately answer with something fundamentally false. How do we have a system of checks and balances with the perpetually unbalanced? I commend your attention to constitutional detail, Mr. McDooris but it will never be heard through The GOP’s current Scheissgeist. That remains my main point. Zano Nation unite, form of blog rant.

Transcosmetic Party anyone? Perhaps we need to create mission statement. You in, Poke?

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.